Equinox
by Luanna255
Summary: Set 4 years after Breaking Dawn. Basically Renesmee's coming-of-age story. But coming of age is a lot more complicated when you're not even sure how to DEFINE your age. Jacob/Nessie, featuring Leah and Nahuel. Please read and tell me what you think!
1. Chapter 1: Conversations

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 1: Conversations

I heard my father's footsteps coming up the stairs precisely one sixty-fifth of a second before he knocked. "Renesmee? May I come in?"

"Sure, sure" I called, not bothering to get off of my bed. Then I giggled, because the Jacob-ism was sure to annoy my father. The door swung open, and my father walked - or, more accurately, _glided_ - in. He looked faintly nervous. "Hello. What is that book which you are reading?" he asked, gesturing at the book next to me on my bed.

I rolled my eyes. My father was so bad at trying to make small talk. _As if you haven't already seen it in my mind, _I thought pointedly. He had the grace to look abashed, but continued. _"Interview with a Vampire_? I thought I told you to stop reading that junk."

_"_Hey, Anne Rice is a classic." I said defensively. Dad looked skeptical.

"Since when?"

"Geesh, Dad, you are SO old-fashioned. How old are you, one hundred?" Actually, he was even older than that, but I was rounding for effect. Call it poetic license.

"Very funny." Dad looked resigned. "Seriously, Ness, haven't we talked about this? I love what a voracious reader you are, but I wish you would be a little more discerning in your choices. It's a little unsettling to see you reading Shakespeare one moment and this..._trash_ the next."

I grinned. "Guess I'm _omnivorous_, huh, Dad?"

He rolled his eyes. "Bad pun, Nessie. Why would you read such material when there are such lovely books out there?"

I shrugged. "It's funny."

Dad raised one bronze eyebrow. "Most people don't find it so."

"Yeah, well, most people aren't real vampires." Or half-vampires. Whatever.

"Whatever happened to that copy of _The_ _Metamorphosis_ by Franz Kafka that I bought for you?" Dad asked.

I was surprised he didn't already know - but then again, I hadn't been thinking about it.

"I finished it already." I couldn't quite keep the smirk off of my face - after all, he'd given it to me two hours ago.

Dad grinned. "That's my girl."

"You know it." I grinned back and leaned forward to give him a hug. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close.

Dad pulled away first. "Um, Renesmee, I came to talk to you about something rather...delicate. You know, you are four years old now, but you pretty much have the body of a twelve-year-old-"

_Uh oh_. This couldn't _possibly_ be going anywhere good. "Mom already told me about getting my period, Dad." In fact, I'd already gotten it. Due to my accelerated growth, my courses were both too fast and too frequent, but Grandfather said that my cycles would probably become normal when I stopped growing. He was also hopeful that this meant I would someday be able to have children-

"_Renesmee_." My father's voice sounded somewhat choked. I looked up to see a pained expression on his face. If it had been possible, I swear his face would have been bright red. "Do you mind not thinking about...those things?"

"Sorry, Dad." I put my hand on his cheek, letting him know that I hadn't embarrassed him on purpose. "So, what's this about? I already know about S-E-X, too."

"This is not about sex, either...or at least, not precisely. It has to do with Jacob." my father clarified. _Something that had to do with Jacob and_ kind of_ had to do with sex? _I felt myself blush bright red. "Jacob? What about him?"

Dad smiled softly and touched my cheek. "You are exquisite when you blush. Exactly as your mother used to look." His tone was warm and affectionate. Then his expression turned serious. "As you know, Renesmee, Jacob has imprinted on you."

"Right." They'd told me this years ago - which was saying something, considering I hadn't been _alive_ that many years. "That means that I'm the center of his world, and we'll be best friends forever, right?" I couldn't keep a pleased smile off of my face. It was amazing to know I was the center of someone's world, to have the security of knowing how deeply and unconditionally I was loved. And actually, I was the center of several someones' worlds - my parents' as well, and possibly Aunt Rosalie's. I was insanely lucky - and spoiled. I tried not to let it go to my head, and remain my unpretentious, practically perfect self.

I saw my father grin with amusement as he followed my thoughts. "Yes, that is correct, but there are also certain..._ramifications_ of an imprint which we have been waiting to tell you about." He hesitated.

I frowned. _Ramifications? _"Go on."

"You see...when a werewolf imprints, it means that they have found their soulmate." He paused to see if I was comprehending.

"Dad, you know Jake doesn't see me like that." I spoke with absolute confidence. I understood my Jacob perfectly - and vice versa.

"No, he does not. He has never thought of you that way" Dad admitted. "But that is because you look so young. In a few month's time, you will start looking like a teenager, and Jacob's feelings will almost certainly take a romantic turn. The imprint means that he is unable to see any other girl or woman in a romantic way, and also that it is inevitable that his feelings for you will turn romantic. He has no choice in the matter. _You_, however, do." Dad was speaking firmly now and I intuited that he had come to the crux of his argument. "I do not want you to let yourself be pressured into something you're not ready for. Do you understand, Renesmee?"

I felt myself blushing again.

"I am not only talking about-" my father looked embarrassed again "-intercourse. I mean any romantic attachment at all, even non-physical. I do not want you to feel like you have any obligation to love Jacob in that way if that isn't how you feel. You are your own person, and you should have all of your options open. I don't want you to allow yourself to be pressured into getting stuck with something that isn't really what you want."

"Dad, when have I ever allowed myself to be pressured into _anything_?" It was true. My stubbornness was the stuff of family legends. I was almost as pigheaded as Aunt Rosalie. "Besides, Jake would never pressure me. You know that all he wants is what I want."

"That is true, but..." my father looked worried. "You have never seen Jacob at his most persistent."

Before I could respond to _that_ mysterious teaser, my father's eyes narrowed. I heard what he was hearing, too - Jacob running toward the house. I knew it was him by his footfalls, as fast as a vampire's but with a heavy, solid sound. Not to mention four-footed. He was in wolf form. A half a second later, we heard the front door swing open and then shut, followed by the quick slams of Jacob running up the steps (in human form, now) and then Jacob was standing in my room (fully clothed, by the way).

"I don't remember anyone inviting you in." There was a hint of a growl in my father's voice. Jake didn't seem to get the hint.

"It's vampires who can't come in without being invited, not werewolves, remember?" Jacob smiled his goofy grin, adorable but completely oblivious. My father let out an impatient hiss.

"That ridiculous myth is not even true, as you perfectly well know, Jacob Black. Now, if you please, I was _attempting_ to have a private discussion with my daughter. Is it really impossible for you to be away from her for a few minutes?"

Jacob looked hurt, and i felt myself getting defensive on his behalf. "Dad, don't talk to my Jacob like that" I said sharply. Jake looked at me and smiled a huge smile - which was a little too smug for me. "And you, Jake - you keep that smug smirk off of your face, or I let Dad kick you out and do whatever else her wants to do with you. Got it?"

Dad glared at Jake again. "I was under the impression that you were in La Push with the pack." he said accusingly. It occurred to me that he'd probably chosen this particular moment to talk to me because he'd expected Jacob to be gone for an hour at least.

Suddenly Dad's eyes widened. "You told them _what_?"

"It's the only way!" Jake protested.

"You told them _what_? _What's_ the only way?" When my father responded to things he read in people's minds, it could get pretty confusing - like hearing only half of a conversation. Dad opened his mouth, but Jacob spoke first.

"I told the pack that I can't be Alpha anymore. Sam is taking over again."

I gasped. Jacob had been Alpha of his pack for almost my entire life - since I'd been five months old, approximately. Next to me, the pack was the most important thing to him - like a second family. I couldn't imagine why he would want to give that up. "Why would you do that?"

"Think about it, Nessie." Jacob spread his arms out. "The Cullens have been here in Forks for six years now. People are already starting to notice that none of them are aging. Pretty soon, it's going to be time for them to move on to another small, rainy town. That's the way your life works."

"Right." I nodded. I'd kind of miss Forks - it was the only home I'd ever known - but I knew Jake was right. As long as I was still able to see Grandpa sometimes, I'd be okay with it. I was expecting it.

Jake nodded slowly, biting his lip. "Nessie, that's the way the Cullens' lifestyle works, but_ it isn't the way the Pack works_. Think about it. The Pack is very deeply rooted in La Push. They've got homes there, families. I couldn't go dragging all of those people around wherever you Cullens went - and I _wouldn't_. It wouldn't be fair to them. And I couldn't stay with them here, because - because I couldn't be away from you, Nessie. This is how it has to be. Like I said before - the only way."

It was horrible, but I felt myself smiling. "You'd give up the pack for me?"

Jacob smiled back. "Of _course_, Nessie. There isn't even a comparison. It's like comparing CDs with oxygen - I may _want_ the CDs, but I _need_ the oxygen."

"I think those two are reversed in my father's case" I quipped. Dad laughed.

"Dad...?" I hesitated. "Is it okay if I talk to Jacob about...what we were discussing earlier?"

My father hesitated too, then nodded reluctantly. "I suppose so. I always knew that you would have to talk about it someday." He didn't move from where he was sitting. I widened my eyes and nodded towards the door. He rolled his eyes, but got up and walked out. "Be good" he called over his shoulder. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or Jacob.

Jake sat next to me on the bed. "So, what's this you have to talk to me about?"

"Dad talked to me a little more about what imprinting really means" I explained. "I wanted to discuss it with you, personally."

Jacob nodded, a little embarrassed but willing. "You can ask me whatever you want, princess."

I took a deep breath, feeling a little shy. How was that possible? I'd never been shy with Jacob. "Is it true that you can never see another girl in a romantic way?"

He nodded again. "Yes, that's true. I don't see women that way anymore. I can love them in a way - for example, I love your mother, who is my best friend, or Leah, who is also my friend as well as my packmate - but it isn't romantic."

Which brought me to another question. "But you used to love my mother romantically, right?" The idea was so weird beyond belief to me - and kind of gross - that I usually tried not to think about it. But I was interested to hear what he had to say.

His nod was reluctant this time. "Ye-es. That's true, too."

For some reason I wished he'd deny it, tell me it wasn't true. "Was it _real _love?"

"I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I want to be completely honest with you, Nessie. Yes. It was real love. I was really, truly in love with your mother - almost obsessed in fact - and she loved me too, though not as much as she loves your father. She was the first girl I kissed - for that matter, the _only_ girl. If your father hadn't been around, your mother and I would almost certainly have gotten married." Seeing the look on my face, he quickly continued on. "But, Nessie, those feelings all went away the first time I saw you. I told you that I don't see girls that way anymore, and that applies to your mother, too. I love her very much, but it's a different kind of love. She is like a sister to me, my best friend. Nothing more." He paused. "You believe me, don't you?"

I could always tell when he was lying. Everything he'd told me just now had been perfect truth - both the upsetting, gross first part, and the slightly comforting second half. "I believe you."

Jake looked into my eyes. "But it's more than that, Nessie. It isn't like my feelings for you replaced my feelings for your mother. My feelings for you are completely different. They are much..._more_. How can I explain it to you...?" He paused, thinking. "Nessie, you know that Sam used to be in love with your Aunt Leah before he imprinted on Emily, right?"

"Right." I'd been told this story before. Sam and Leah were two wolves from Jake's pack. Leah wasn't really my aunt, but I called her that because she and Jake were such good friends that she's always been a big part of my life - although I wasn't nearly as close with her as I was with my Aunt Rosalie or my Aunt Alice. In fact, Leah always seemed faintly hostile towards me.

Jake continued talking. "Ness, what Sam and Leah had was _real_, too. Just like what I had with your mother. It was real love, and it would be an insult to that love to deny it. But that kind of love is...it's nothing compared to what Sam has with Emily, or what your mother and father have. The minute I imprinted on you, I understood why your mother had to choose your father. She was in love with me, too, but that love was...it was _zero_ compared to what she and your father shared. And the love I felt for your mother is _zero_ compared to what I feel for _you_."

I felt myself turning bright red again. I envied full vampires, who didn't have to worry about such things. "But I thought you didn't see me in _that way_."

"I don't" Jake assured me. "My love for you isn't romantic..._yet_. But even so, it's bigger than any other love I feel, or ever have felt. In fact, it borders on obsession. I'm not even sure it's healthy. You could murder Quil, Embry, Leah, Seth, your parents, my father...everyone I've ever loved, and I would still love you. I don't think I would even be able to get angry at you. That's just the way it is. Your happiness is the only reason for my existence...everything else is minor compared to that. If I put the whole universe on one side of a scale and you on the other, there still would be no comparison."

I was shocked speechless. Jake wasn't normally so dramatic - or so _mushy_. "That was almost..._poetic_, Jacob."

He blushed. "It's just the way I feel."

Was that the way _I_ felt, too? I loved him a lot, it was true. He was so much more than just a best friend. He and my mom were my two favorite people in the world. But that was just it - they were at a tie. I wasn't sure if the way I loved Jake was this borderline obsessive, unconditional, soul-seeking, earth shattering love he was talking about. I wasn't even sure if I was _capable_ of such love. After all,_ I_ hadn't imprinted on _him_.

Just as if it was he, not my father, who could read my mind, Jacob spoke up. "You don't have to imprint to feel what I feel, Ness. Didn't I just say that what your parents have is that same thing? So is what the Doc and Esme have, though they're more quiet about it, and the same goes for Alice and Jasper. Even Blondie and Emmett - and I wouldn't have thought Blondie was capable of loving anyone except herself and her money."

I laughed in spite of myself. "You really shouldn't be so mean to Aunt Rosalie, Jacob." Except for my parents and Jacob, Aunt Rosalie was actually probably my favorite person in the world. The way she loved me was almost like _she'd_ imprinted on me, too. But more than that, I knew Aunt Rosalie better than anyone else did - except possibly Uncle Emmett. I knew that underneath her shallow, superficial exterior, she was one of the most amazing people I knew. She could be flighty, vain, and sometimes downright _stupid_, true. But she was fiercely loyal, protective, and loving to those she cared about, and she would never back down from what she believed to be right. When Mom had been pregnant, everyone - Grandfather, Aunt Alice, even Dad and Jacob - had thought that the baby - me - was a danger to my mother, and should be taken out and killed. Only my mother and Aunt Rosalie had wanted me. Aunt Rosalie had fought for me as hard as my mother, guarding Mom day and night (which isn't _quite_ as dramatic as it sounds, being that she didn't get tired and didn't need sleep, but still) to protect me. My mother had fought at least as hard for me, of course, but she would never have been able to physically protect me if not for Aunt Rosalie. If it hadn't been for Aunt Rosalie, I would undoubtedly have been killed before I could ever be born. I wouldn't be alive today. I quite literally owed my life to her.

"I guess I could never really hate someone who loves you so much" Jake said thoughtfully, then laughed softly to himself. I frowned, trying to find the humor in his statement.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just..." Jacob shook his head slightly, still laughing. I pursed my lips and glared at him.

"It's a private joke from before I was born, isn't it?" I hated those. I hated the feeling of being out of the loop, of "not getting it".

Jacob could never stand to see me upset, even just mildly annoyed, like I was then. He quickly explained to me. "I was just remembering how I used to think that the reason your father didn't hate me - despite, I'm sorry to say, me giving him many good reasons to - was that he just couldn't hate someone who loved your mother so much. And when he saw the light about you, it was for the same reason, in the beginning - he could hear how much you loved Bella in your thoughts. And now I guess I feel the same way about Blondie."

"Well, I'm glad." I smiled at him. "You and Aunt Rosalie are two of my favorite people. I hate it when you don't get along."

"But you love me more than Blondie, don't you?" His expression was adorably anxious. I decided to tease him.

"Maybe."

He made what I referred to as his "sad puppy-dog face" at me. "Nessie, be nice."

I grinned, making a big show of "thinking" hard, tapping my fingers against my forehead. "Well, hmmm...let me think...I'm really just not sure..."

I squealed as he growled and tackled me. I giggled and writhed as he tickled me. "Stop! Stop it! Jake, stop!"

With a final grin, he stopped and released me. Gasping for breath, I playfully smacked his arm. "Jake, that wasn't funny!"

He knew I wasn't serious. "It so _was_."

"Was _not_!"

"You know you enjoyed it." His smile was enormous. "So, how about it? Me or Blondie?"

I was suddenly tired of playing around. Impulsively, I leaned over and hugged him. "Jake, you know I love you more than I'll _ever_ love Aunt Rosalie. You're my favorite person in the world - you and Mom. You are my two favorite people in the world."

Jake leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. The pose reminded me of _The Thinker_, a sculpture by Rodin that I had once seen with my father at the Rodin Museum in Philadelphia. "Me and Bells are at a tie, huh? I guess I can't ask for more than that."

"You know, Jacob, someday...there might be someone I love more than either of you." He turned to me, frowning again.

"What do you mean, Ness?"

I took a deep breath. "Jacob, I don't know how I'll feel when I'm grown up. I don't know_ who_ I'll love in_ that way_. There's a definite possibility that...Well, what I'm trying to say, Jacob, is...How would you feel if I fell in love with someone else?"

At the very sound of the words, Jacob's face spasmed with pain. He put his face in both hands and breathed deeply, trying to calm down. "I won't lie, Nessie. I would be...it would be _bad_. I would fight for you as hard as I could, no matter what. I would want to rip the other guy into a million pieces and feed him to the wolves...and I mean that quite literally. But in the end..." Jake nodded slowly, sucking in his breath. "In the end, if he was really good enough for you - though, mind you, I don't know if I can _ever_ imagine a guy good enough for you, including myself - but if we was _really_ a good guy, and it was _really_ what you wanted, well...I would have to respect that. I'm not saying that it wouldn't take a very long time, or that I wouldn't make a total fool of myself in the process, but in the end, I love you too much to be really upset if you were really happy."

Insanely, I felt as if I'd been let down. "So, you'd be okay with it?"

Jacob let out a short, barking laugh. "Did I give you _that_ impression? God, no. I would _not_ be okay. I would be 100 percent not-okay for the rest of my life. I would be miserable. Ripped apart. Empty. Even thinking about the idea makes me feel like killing myself - or someone else. But, like I said, killing either myself or the other guy wouldn't make you happy, so..." he shrugged. "I wouldn't do it. I'd let you live in peace, and I'd always try to be there for you in whatever way you _did_ need me."

I felt myself smiling, but there were tears in my eyes. "Jake, that's so sweet."

He laughed, his sunny self once more. "Yeah, right. Me, sweet." He let out a deep huff of breath. "Do you mind if we make this the end of Q&A for today, princess? This has been...pretty intense."

I nodded. I'd asked everything I'd been intending to. "Sure, sure." He smiled to hear me using his catchphrase. "Jacob...I know it was awkward, but I'm glad we talked about these things."

He smiled widely and took my hand, toying with the promise bracelet he'd put around my wrist. "I'm glad, too, princess. You need to understand about these things...and you needed to hear about them _now_, before you become a teenager."

I grinned. "Jake, I'm four, remember? I'm nowhere _near_ becoming a teenager."

He laughed. "You know what I mean." He got off of my bed and started walking towards the door.

"Yes, I do. And, Jake?" He paused, framed by the doorway, and looked over his shoulder at me.

"Yes, Nessie?"

"I want to thank you again...about the pack. Say what you will, but I know what a huge sacrifice it is for you." I did know that, but it didn't mean I wasn't incredibly glad he was making it. I couldn't stand the thought of life without my Jacob - as cliche as that sounded.

His smile was gentle now. "It's nothing, Nessie."

And with those words, he walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2: Equinox

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 2: Equinox

After Jacob left, I got up and measured myself; height, weight, width of the waist, and around the hips and chest. It wasn't vanity - rather, a necessary measure (no pun intended) to keep track of my growth. When I was little, Grandfather had measured me and I'd thought it tedious beyond belief, but, like a diabetic checking her blood sugar, I'd learned to do it myself every day and it had become a regular part of my life. Today I'd gained one sixth of a pound and one sixtieth of an inch. My waist, hips, and chest were the same as they had been yesterday (unfortunately, in the case of the chest. Sadly, I was still quite flat). Overall, that was good news. My growth rate was slowing down. At this rate, I was aging about one year every four months. Last year it had been more like a year three months. I hoped my growth rate would soon slow down enough that I would be able to go outside and meet people, go outside like a regular person. Like the illegal children in the _Shadow Children_ series by Margaret Peterson Haddix (my favorite series, not-so-coincidentally), I had never been allowed outside in my life. It was too dangerous, my parents insisted. Someone would be bound to notice that I grew far more quickly than a normal person, and in a small town like Forks, rumors would be bound to fly around like mosquitoes in the summertime. Even though I understood the logic, some days I felt so cooped-up and claustrophobic in my parents' house that I just wanted to scream and smash down every single wall in the house (which, physically, I was fully capable of doing). But, of course, I held it all inside, and pretended I was satisfied with a world that consisted of nine people (plus visits from Nahuel, Zafrina, the Denalis, and the occasional werewolf who came to visit Jacob). I smiled and acted out the part of Good Little Nessie flawlessly. My father, of course, couldn't have secrets kept from him, and I thought that Jacob might suspect, but at least, to the best of my knowledge, I'd kept Mom from figuring it out. I knew it would break her if she knew how unhappy I was, and I couldn't stand the thought of worrying her that way. Thankfully, I'd gotten my acting (that is, lying) skills from my father and not from her, so I was able to pull it off and never let her see how miserable, frustrated, and lonely I felt.

Having finished measuring, I stood in front of my mirror and looked at myself. Because of our striking, unusual bronze hair, people's first reactions were usually to say that I looked just like my father, but in truth there was a lot of my mother in me as well. My chocolate-brown eyes were the exact same shade that hers had been before she'd been changed, and my skin, although it had the hardness of vampire skin, looked more the way hers used to as well, warm ivory with pink cheeks that blushed easily. My face was more like hers too, softer rather than with the hard, sculpted angles of my father's. But my mouth, full and expressive, was undeniably Dad's. We had the same mischievous, crooked smile, the same frown, the same smirk (and we both smirked a _lot_ more often than we should have). My long bronze curls spiraled down to my waist. Mom had been reluctant to cut my hair, but eventually she'd had to. If she hadn't, I would have been tripping over it by now. Like the rest of me, my hair grew unnaturally quickly. (Nails, too, for that matter. If I wasn't careful to cut them, I could get claws in a matter of days.) Jacob loved to tease me about it, calling me "Rapunzel". Pretty much, I had the appearance of a normal twelve-year-old girl. Looking in the mirror, I fantasized about being a human girl. At my age (twelve, not four - I never looked at myself as a toddler) I'd be in sixth grade, junior high. I'd have friends to talk to on the phone, teachers to hate, and stupid little problems and issues to be obsessed with. In short, I'd have a _life_, instead of just feeling cut-off and purposeless.

When I went downstairs to tell Grandfather my measurements, I was greeted by the sight of my parents kissing. Actually, a more accurate term would be 'making out'. _Seriously_ making out. And so much absorbed in each other that, even with their vampire senses, they didn't notice me.

I cleared my throat. "Um, guys, do you mind _not_ doing that in front of me?"

Mom looked at me, all worried. "Do you find it disgusting?" she turned to my father. "Edward...what if her crazy growth speed has given her genophobia? We could ask Carlisle-"

Uh-oh. _Major_ blush time for Renesmee. Seriously? _Genophobia?_

Dad completely ignored her - which is what he generally did when she started worrying about ridiculous things - and smiled calmly at me. "You should be _happy_ that your parents love each other, Renesmee. Do you have any idea how much divorce rates have gone up?"

"Sure. In a poll taken in February, it was 0.34 percent per capita, which is _way_ up since the 50's, when it was 0.12 percent per capita, but actually _down_ since divorce rates peaked in 1981 at 0.53 percent per capita."

"Well, it's obvious whose daughter _you_ are, anyway" Mom laughed. "It isn't easy, you know, living with two practically perfect people. It makes me feel so..._unworthy_."

"You are anything but" my father murmured, his lips against her hair. "How can I ever make you see what a treasure you really are, Bella?" He smiled suddenly. "It is, however, good to know that I am perfect."

My mother laughed. "Well, in _some_ ways, anyway. Don't you get cocky on me, Mr. Cullen."

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Cullen." Even though they'd been married for years, my dad still always got this gleeful, how-lucky-am-I expression whenever he called my mom "Mrs. Cullen". I still couldn't make up my mind whether my parents were romantic or idiotic when they got like this.

"By the way, Renesmee, Nahuel called. He should be here soon." Mom called after me as I started to walk away.

"Great!" I called back, and then I walked out of the house.

The walk to the house where Grandfather, Grandmother, Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jasper, Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie lived (Jacob lived there too, technically, but he spent so much time with me that I tended to forget where he actually slept) would have taken less than a minute if I'd been going full speed, but I chose to take it slow, walking at an almost human pace, savoring my time outdoors. As I walked in the door, I was immediately grabbed and smothered with hugs.

"Renesmee!" Aunt Rosalie grabbed me first. Like Mom, she insisted on always calling me by my full name. Aunt Alice wasn't far behind, bouncing behind Aunt Rosalie as if she was on an invisible pogo stick. "Nessie! I'm so glad you're here! We need to start discussing your birthday party! Would you like these water lily decorations, or-"

I rolled my eyes. "Aunt Alice. Will you _never _get tired of making me a party every few months?" Instead of celebrating my birthday once a year, like normal people, Aunt Alice insisted on throwing me a birthday party every time Grandfather estimated that I'd aged about one year (as well as on my actual birthday, of course). In a way, I had to admit that I loved the attention, but it also could get to be a bit _much_. I wasn't as much of a party-phobe as my mom, but I had my limits, too. Aunt Alice, on the other hand, didn't seem to grasp the concept of "limits". Not when it came to parties, anyway.

Aunt Alice pouted. "But, Ness, you're turning thirteen! You're going to be a teenager! You _can't_ get out of it this time!"

"Have I been able to get out of it _any_ time? Besides, I am _not_ turning thirteen. That implies that I've been alive thirteen years. I only _look_ thirteen - and my mind is far advanced beyond any thirteen-year-old's."

"Be a good sport, Nessie._ Please_."

"Okay. Fine. But can you _try_ to be low-key this time? I mean it. _Low-key_."

Aunt Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella all over again, aren't you? I'll try - but come on, Aunt Alice has to have her fun!"

I sighed, feeling a little bad about being such a killjoy. "I know. I'm sorry. It's really very nice of you to always be making me parties. I'm sure it'll be lovely, okay? Now, I have to go give The Daily Stats to Grandfather."

"The Daily Stats" is the family nickname for my daily measurements. I guess giving it a nickname was a way to try to make it seem normal. Normal - ha. _Yeah_. _Right_.

--

When I got back to the house, Nahuel was already there. He jumped up, crossed the room in one jump, and kissed me on both cheeks.

"Rena! So good to see you!" he exclaimed. Rena is Nahuel's special nickname for me. He never calls me Nessie or Renesmee. He stepped back and surveyed me, then smiled.

"You've grown into such a beautiful young lady in my absence." I felt myself turning cherry-red. Nahuel reached out and gracefully stroked my cheek.

"You are exquisite when you blush. Do you know that?" Of course, this only made me blush harder. Somehow, Nahuel's words had a very different tang than when my father said the same thing.

Seeing Nahuel now made me remember the first time we'd really bonded. It had been just a few weeks after the Volturi nightmare. The Volturi had tried to kill me, and take my family down with me. Aunt Alice had found Nahuel, a half-human, half-vampire hybrid like me, and it had been the testimony of him and his aunt, Huilen, which had forced the Volturi to admit that I was not a danger and let us all go. I'd already been grateful to Nahuel for saving me and so many of the people that I loved, and I'd been curious about him, too, since he was the only person I knew who was like me. But still, everything had been so busy and hectic that we hadn't really had a chance to talk and somehow, before I knew it, Huilen and Nahuel were heading back to South America. I'd been disappointed, but too caught up in everything else to worry about it for long.

But just days after leaving, Nahuel arrived back at our house with terrible news. The Volturi had tracked down his father, Joham, and, perhaps frustrated by their lack of success with our family, had brutally and mercilessly killed him, without waiting for explanations or defense. Nahuel's three sisters, Aylen, Sayen, and Rayen had escaped, and arrived at our house with Nahuel, but they were terrified and grief-stricken. Nahuel felt personally responsible for all of it, and had ended up confiding in me.

"I just feel so guilty, Renesmee" he'd confessed (this was before the nickname "Rena"). "This is all my fault. If I had not told the Italians about my father, he would be a living man today."

"Nahuel, no! This is _not_ your fault" I'd protested. "How could you have known how the Volturi would react? They'd already admitted that we half-bloods are no danger. If we are no danger, why should you have thought that the Volturi would punish your father for creating them?"

"Even if there was no way I could have known, I still should have shown more caution. There was no need to mention my sisters, or my father's dreams as a scientist, creating a new race. It was that idea which alarmed the Volturi, and I need not have mentioned it at all. I practically gave the Volturi permission to kill him! 'Stop Joham if you will' I told them. I should have known how they would interpret that. I caused my father's death needlessly. I am a murderer. First I murdered my mother, being born, and now I am responsible for my father's death, too." Nahuel's voice had been dead and expressionless then, as if he'd given up on all hope and joy.

Suddenly, I'd felt almost angry. "Nahuel, this is _not_ _your fault_. If anything, it is _my_ fault. The Volturi came because of me. You had to come and witness because of me. If you feel the need to blame someone, you should blame _me_. None of this entire..._nightmare_ would have happened if not for me. Any bad consequences fall on my shoulder's, not yours."

"No, Rena." Nahuel's voice had been gentle then, and the nickname had flown naturally from his tongue. He'd reached out and lightly touched my shoulder. "These small, young shoulders hold no burdens of responsibility. All you did was be born, and then be seen. No blame should be cast on your sweet, innocent self for that. You have done no wrong, Rena. _You_ are still pure and good." _Unlike me_, his voice had seemed to imply.

"So _I'm_ not to blame for being born, but _you_ are to blame for killing your mother, even though all _you_ did there was be born, too? That doesn't seem very fair to me" I'd challenged.

Nahuel had laughed a little at that, but it had been merely a slight movement of his lips, utterly without mirth. "Perhaps, Rena. Perhaps."

But that had been years ago, and there was no trace of mourning on Nahuel's face as he smiled at me. Today, I was the one who needed reassurance.

"It's just _getting_ to me, you know?" I confided. "The never being able to interact with humans, never being able to do _anything_. My mind is as advanced as any adults, and I'm expected to stay home with my dollies and let everybody baby me. It's infuriating. And the worst part is, it's not ending any time soon. We're moving out of Forks in a week, and my parents and my aunts and uncles are going to go to school there. Grandfather will keep on saving lives. Grandmother is thinking of getting a job, too. And where will I be? Stuck inside, until I stop aging a year every four months. And who knows how long _that_ will be? Probably another two years, at least. Maybe even three."

Nahuel nodded sympathetically. "I understand what you say, Rena. But you should not worry. I remember how it was to be your age. By the end of this year, you will look perhaps fifteen. The next year, you will age another three years, and another two years the year after. By then, you will be fully grown. But by the end of this year, I think it will be enough that you can start attending a human high school - as a sophomore. By the time you graduate, you would be full grown, and look around twenty, but you could pass as a mature eighteen. It will be enough, I know it."

"I swear, sometimes I wish I wasn't what I am!" I burst out. "It's so unfair - I can never see humans, because of how I grow, but there are vampires who think I shouldn't exist, too! I don't fit in anywhere - I'm a freak among freaks! I get the worst of both worlds!"

"No. Never say that." Nahuel shook his head. "Never regret what you are. You and I, we are like the equinox, a rare balance, exquisite and most perfect. There are those who do not understand us, those who - as you know - might even seek to destroy us, but it is they who are mistaken. They cannot comprehend our uniqueness. People are always afraid of that which is different, but you and I are special, Rena. And it is the special ones who always make the difference, who change the world."

I had to smile. "You always make me feel better, Nahuel. You make me feel..._special_."

"And so you are, Rena. You are the most special of all."

Nahuel and I sat talking for hours, but eventually he had to leave. I held his hand, reluctant to let him go. "I'll miss you. I don't get to see you enough."

He leaned forward and swiftly kissed me on the cheek. "I miss you as well. I promise to come back tomorrow. Alright?"

"You'd better!" I reached up onto my tiptoes to hug him goodbye. As I danced upstairs, I was so preoccupied thinking of Nahuel that I didn't notice anything was off until I got into my room and found myself staring into Leah Clearwater's furious black eyes.


	3. Chapter 3: Mine

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 3: Mine

"Aunt Leah!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing he-" I broke off abruptly as I caught a glimpse of the ferocity in her eyes.

"First of all" she snapped. "I am _not_ your aunt, vamp-brat. There are no leeches in my family."  
My head was spinning, and I decided the best approach would be to act as if there was nothing strange about her behavior. "Well, no, not technically, but since Grandpa married Grandma Sue, that means you and Seth are technically my mother's step-siblings."

"_Second_ of all" Leah continued, taking no notice of my babbling. "_Do you have any idea what you've done?_"

As a matter of fact, I _didn't_ have any idea what I'd done. I mentally went through a list of things I'd done recently which might have offended Leah Clearwater, but I was coming up with nothing. "Um...no?"

"How _dare_ you make Jacob leave the pack?" Leah snarled. "Jacob is an amazing Alpha. A thousand times better than Sam. It's what he was born to do. How _dare_ you take that away from him?"

"That was Jacob's decision, not mine" I protested. "I had nothing to do with it. I didn't _know _about it until after he'd already told you guys."

"That _may_ be true, but, gee, I wonder what - or _who_ - made him _make_ the decision?" Leah asked sarcastically. "Was it his overwhelming devotion to your dumb-blonde aunt? His inability to be separated from that thug, Emmett? No, I don't think so. Jacob is leaving because of _you_. And I bet you didn't even try to persuade him otherwise."

"Well - no." I stammered. "Why should I have?"

"Just like your mother!" Leah hissed. "He was in love with _her_, too, and she never cared about him either. She was happy to _use_ him when she needed him, but did she ever give him anything in return? No. Did you even _think_ about what Jake would be giving up? Being an Alpha is what he was born to do. It's his destiny."

"Jacob's destiny is with _me_!" I snapped, suddenly furious. "You don't have any claim on him, girlie-wolf, and you need to get that through your head. He's _mine_."

"Jacob is the best friend I've _ever_ had" Leah said fervently. If I hadn't known better, I would have said there were tears in her eyes. "These past four years in his Pack, I've been the happiest I've been since - since - since what happened with Sam. If he leaves, it'll all go back to the way it was before. Do you understand how that would be for me? I - I _can't_ let that happen."

"It's happening, whether you like it or not" I said coldly. "Jacob and I belong together, and his connection with the Pack is nothing compared to that. I'm sorry if it will be hard for you, but that's just life."

Leah clenched her hands into fists, shaking with rage. As she slowly unclenched her hands, I noticed her nails. She had really nice nails - long, but not _too _long, perfectly shaped and covered with clear nail polish. But either my emotional turmoil was making me hallucinate, or Leah was so angry that for a second she started to transform, because suddenly her nails looked like claws.

"So it's all about what _you_ want, is that it?" she threw at me. "Typical. You're right - I _don't_ want to go back to being Sam's pathetic ex-girlfriend, but _I_ care about Jacob, too. Oh, I know how crazy he is about you - and I do mean _crazy_, in the literal sense. It's practically all I've heard about for the past four years - 'Oh, Nessie is so intelligent. Nessie is so charming. Nessie has so much personality. Nessie is just the greatest thing since French toast!' " Leah's imitation of Jacob's voice was cruelly accurate. "But have you ever thought that Jacob might need a _life_, too? A role other than being your personal worshipper? He's a natural leader, the kind of person who was born to _do_ things. And he'd never say this to _you_, but he'd be giving up a lot, if he stopped being Alpha. That's the role he was born to play."

She glared down at me, and suddenly I felt ridiculously small. Leah was an adult woman, not some overgrown four-year-old freak like me. If you took the imprint out of the equation, Leah was a much better choice for Jacob than I was. He wouldn't have to wait a single minute for her to grow up. Besides which, if he married her, he could stay with the wolves forever. Leah could be his Wolf Queen, or whatever, and he wouldn't have to give up a thing. I felt some jealous, territorial instinct stirring inside me. I put my hand on Leah's cheek, concentrating on every physically painful memory I'd ever had. Suddenly, all I wanted was to hurt her, to fight for what was mine. I couldn't generate pain, the way Kate could - but I could make Leah feel every bit of pain I'd ever experienced. I summoned all of my anger and used it to fuel my power, pouring every second of pain into Leah.

Leah screamed, and I felt a jolt of triumph, as though fire was flowing through my veins. In the grips of a fury I'd never felt before, I took a step closer to her and whispered "Keep your..._paws_ off of my Jacob!"

As though my words had woken Leah out of a trance, she suddenly gasped and clenched her hand around my wrist. "Get off of me, you creepy bloodsucker!" she snarled, pulling my hand off and throwing me forcefully to the ground. As I landed on the floor, I heard a growl from the doorway. I rolled over and turned to see Jacob standing in the doorway, with the most murderous expression I'd ever seen on his normally sunny face.

With a snarl, Jacob threw himself at Leah, transforming in mid-jump. In wolf form, he landed on top of her, knocking her to the ground. I had a brief glimpse of Leah's human face as she fell backward - her straight dark hair fanning out behind her, her eyes wide - before she, too, transformed. The two wolves rolled over in a snarling, barking mass of fur, but Jacob was stronger, and almost berserk with irrational fury. Leah didn't stand a chance. Jacob pinned her to the ground, biting her and clawing her. Blood spurted out of her veins.

"Jacob! Stop! Stop it!" I tried to pull him off, but I was too small to even move him in his wolf form. Helplessly, I watches as Jacob all but shredded Leah Clearwater to pieces.

"Jacob, _no_! You'll kill her!" I screamed desperately. With a shock, I realized that that was exactly right. Jacob was so furious with Leah on my behalf that he actually _wanted_ to kill her. I screamed as I saw Jacob's teeth sink into Leah's throat. Crimson blood splashed all over everything. _Was it too late already_? My heart pounding, I ran towards the door. "Help!" I screamed. "Somebody! _Help_!"


	4. Chapter 4: New Beginnings

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 4: New Beginnings

I heard the front door slam, and an instant later my father was standing in my room, his bronze hair windswept and mussed, his eyes wide. A second later, he was followed by Aunt Rosalie, my mother, Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jasper, and Grandfather.

"Oh, _for God's sake_" Aunt Rosalie muttered. "Stupid _dogs_."

"Emmett! Jasper! Get Jacob out!" my father yelled.

Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper grabbed Jacob and dragged him out of the room, still barking and struggling. My father turned to Leah. He was visibly shaking with barely controlled anger.

"Get out of here. Now." he said in a tight, furious voice. "If you ever so much as _look_ at my daughter again, I swear I will rip you apart limb from limb and grind you into flour. Now, get out of my house, and don't _ever_ come back! Out! _NOW_!"

Leah looked around at the six furious vampires who were glaring at her, and, with a frightened whine, jumped out of my window. She landed neatly, first on her front paws, than on her back ones, and then was out of sight into an instant.

My father let out a growl and then walked over to me. "Nessie? Are you alright?"

To my shock, I found that I was crying. I sat down on my bed and put my hands over my face, suddenly feeling empty and depressed. My mother let out a quick gasp and sat down next to me. She put her arm around me and put her other hand under my chin, pulling up my face until she was looking into my eyes. "Renesmee? Nessie, what's wrong?"

Gosh. She must have been _really_ worried if she was calling me "Nessie". I shook my head, trying to find a rational explanation. Sure, Leah had acted bitchy in the extreme, but I felt like I was so miserable on account of _my_ behavior, not hers. It was as though I had shaken myself up, as though I'd shocked myself. I doubted even my father could find sense in my tangled-up thoughts. _I_ couldn't do that, myself.

"Nessie?" My father sat down on the other side of me. "Nessie, talk to us, _please_."

I swallowed, tasting tears. "I don't know" I whispered. "I just don't know."

And then, without really knowing why, without even thinking about what I was saying, I hugged my mother as tightly as I could and said softly "Momma, I'm just a little girl."

--

"Are you _sure_ you'll be alright?" Mom asked. I rolled my eyes. Why so much fuss every time my parents went hunting?

"Yes, Ma, I'll be _fine_. _God_." You would think they were moving to Zimbabwe. "It's only a few hours."

"Are you sure you don't want Aunt Rosalie or Aunt Alice to come over...?" My mother was a hopeless worry-wart. But actually, a few hours alone sounded perfect to me.

"I'm sure. I need the time to think, Mom."

"I guess you do" Mom admitted. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom, but this isn't like I'm moving out. You have a whole month until that happens." I had to laugh at the horrified expression on her face. "_Kidding_, Mom.

"I knew that" she replied, with great dignity, as she and my father swept out of the house.

I sat in front of the TV, flipping through the Guide. Nothing on. As always. I tried watching an episode of _Buffy_ for laughs but got tired of it after fifteen minutes. I was debating on whether or not to switch to a stupid makeover show when suddenly I stiffened. "What the _hell_ is _she _doing here?"

Leah arrived at the door a second later and rang the doorbell. When I ignored her, she opened the door and walked into the house.

"You're trespassing" I said coldly, folding my arms across my chest.

"Look, just listen to what I have to say, okay?" she pleaded. Looking at her now, it was almost hard to believe she was the same angry girl who had attacked me yesterday. I felt myself weaken.

"Okay. Fine" I conceded. "But you'd better make it quick, because if my parents come back and find you here, you are dead meat. Literally." I sat back down on the couch, turned off the TV, and sat stiffly, waiting. Leah sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Leah exhaled slowly. "I...I love him, too. Not the way you do - or _will_, anyway - but I _do_. He's my best friend. And I'm...protective. I get angry when I see people I love being mistreated."

"I don't mistreat Jacob." I said quietly.

"I know." Leah nodded. "I lost my temper, and I'm _really_ sorry about that. I had no right to attack you like that. I'm just...I guess I'm just not a very happy person, you know? Sometimes I take it out on other people, even when there's no good reason. And Jacob is...well, except for Mom and Seth, he's pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me. So when I heard I was losing him, well...I panicked. And I expressed that panic by getting mad instead of dealing with it, which was _beyond_ immature, but that's how I am sometimes." She shrugged. "But it wasn't your fault, and I want you to know that I know that, and I can _never _apologize enough."

I wanted to stay mad, but it was impossible. Leah had always seemed so strong, the warrior princess, the wolf queen, but I saw now how vulnerable and hurt she really was. I was touched that she'd opened up to me, and I sighed. "Look, you're not the only one at fault. I don't know what happened to me yesterday...I just _totally_ blew up. I overreacted even more than you did."

"You're possessive." Leah nodded, as though it all made sense. "You have a right to be."

I shifted uncomfortably. "You make it sound like I _own_ him or something."

"You do." Leah replied simply. Huh. Guess I couldn't really argue with that. I laughed.

"I guess I kind of do, don't I?"

"Yep." Leah laughed too, then held out her hand. "Friends?"

I took it. "Friends."

This charming Hallmark moment was interrupted by yet _another _knock at the door. "Rena? Are you there?"

_Darn_. Darn, darn, _darn_. I'd _completely_ forgotten about Nahuel.

"That's my friend, Nahuel" I whispered to Leah. "I forgot that he'd said he would come over today. Is it okay if I let him in?"

Leah looked uncomfortable, but shrugged. "I guess so."

"Come in, Nahuel!" I called.

As Nahuel walked in, Leah completely froze. Every muscle in her body tensed, her dark eyes widened, and her full lips parted slightly.

Nahuel, who hadn't noticed Leah yet, didn't realize anything was going on. "Rena, good, you're here. I wanted to talk to you about-"

He broke off as he caught sight of Leah. It was as if I'd dropped off the face of the planet, which somewhat annoyed me. The two of them had probably forgotten I existed at all, let alone that I was in the room with them. Not to mention the fact that they were both ostensibly here to see _me_.

Nahuel's eyes swept over Leah. "_Who_ are _you_?" he enthused.

Leah's eyes never left Nahuel's face as she got up and walked over to him. She was looking up at him with the most adoring expression I'd ever seen. A phrase that Jacob had once mentioned came to mind - Leah looked as if she was seeing the sun for the first time. As if all her life she'd had some terrible, deadly disease, and she was finally, _finally_ looking at the cure.

"I'm Leah Clearwater" she whispered, looking into his eyes. "And you...it's _you_."


	5. Chapter 5: What Universe Is This?

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 5: Okay, What Universe Have I Landed In? **(Jacob's Point of View)**

"She _imprinted_ on _who_?"

"On Nahuel."

"On _Nahuel_?"

"On Nahuel."

"_Leah_ and _Nahuel_?"

An exasperated breath of laughter. "Yes, Jacob, Leah and Nahuel."

"Are you serious?"

"Indeed, I am." Nessie smirked. The expression of slightly superior amusement might as well have been Cut-and-Pasted off of her father's face, but on Nessie it was charming rather than annoying.

"_Leah Clearwater_ and _Nahuel_?"

A slight 'help me' eye roll. "_Yes_, Jacob." That tolerantly patient tone was her father's, too.

I sat down, absentmindedly running a hand through my hair. "Wow. I mean...just..._wow_."

Nessie nodded. "I know. It _is_ pretty unbelievable" she admitted, dropping her condescending attitude.

"How did this _happen_?" I asked.

"I'm not even really sure...Leah came over to apologize-"

"I _still_ can't _believe_ she _attacked_ you!" I interrupted angrily. "I am really going to kill-"

"No, you are not" Nessie cut me off firmly. "You didn't see the whole thing. I wasn't blameless, either. I kind of went insane. _Anyway_, as I was _saying_, she showed up, and I'd forgotten Nahuel was supposed to come over that day, until _he_ showed up, and then...well, he walked in, and she took one look at him, and...it _happened_."

"Where are they now?"

"They went out on a date. They should be here any min-" Nessie broke off.

"Speak of the devil" I said, hearing the approaching footsteps.

Nessie nodded. "Or, in this case, the werewolf and the half vampire."

As Leah and Nahuel walked in, I thought that my mouth must have been hanging open. Okay, I _knew_ my mouth was hanging open. I closed it quickly.

The two of them walked in, holding hands somehow in spite of the fact that they were carrying at least five shopping bags between them. They were both laughing, and took absolutely no notice of me and Nessie, which annoyed me somewhat. I mean, Leah and I had by no means a perfect relationship. I was used to her sniping at me, making fun of me, fighting with me. But completely _ignoring _me? Not so often. Not recently, anyway.

This couldn't possibly be the Leah Clearwater I knew. This had to be someone else. An un-scarred Emily. A grown-up Claire. Some entirely unknown woman. Had I ever really seen Leah smile? _Really_ smile? Her teeth looked unfamiliar to me. _All_ of her looked unfamiliar. Too happy, too relaxed, too carefree.

I cleared my throat. "Um, Leah?"

She started, finally brought out of her Nahuel reverie, and smiled at me. "Oh, Jake! Good, you're here! I need to talk to you about wedding plans-"

"_Wedding_ plans?" I gasped.

"Yep!" Leah squealed (_since when did she squeal?_). She held out her left hand, which had something on the ring finger which looked remarkably like an engagement ring.

"We're engaged!" she announced, actually bouncing on the balls of her feet as she said it. That did it. This was _not_ Leah. This was a Pod Person. Or a Stepford Leah, maybe. Because Leah Clearwater most definitely did _not_ bounce. Alice Cullen did. I _expected_ it from Alice. But not Leah. She just wasn't a _bouncy _kind of person. Was she?

My head was spinning. Leah smiling and laughing - with no trace of hidden sadness behind it? Leah _bouncing_? Leah..._engaged_? What kind of alternate reality was this? Could one imprint really change so much? I mean, obviously, imprinting had changed my life, too. Beyond recognition. But I'd thought it was more of an _internal_ thing. Had I acted so differently after I'd imprinted? Had Sam? Jared? Paul? (Okay, Paul had. But he'd only become more annoying and in my face than before, which wasn't the same kind of change.)

"You're _engaged_?" I blurted out. "You've known each other for how long? One freaking _day_?" I hadn't meant to sound so accusing. Nessie shot me a reproachful glare.

Leah sighed impatiently, barely even registering my jerkiness in her current Cloud Nine mood. "Jake, you know what an imprint is like. I've found the person for me. Why wait?"

I _did_ know what an imprint was like. But my imprint had come with a definite waiting period. As had Quil's. Sam and Jared had happened before I even knew about imprinting. And with Paul, well, I'd been too busy being annoyed to think about much else. So it had never hit me in the face this way before that if one adult imprinted on another, there would be no reason to wait for...anything. That in one day, she could go from sad, heartbroken Leah to imprinted, _engaged_ Leah. It was like waking up and finding myself on a parallel universe. A strange, sugary one, the kind where I'd expect to find smiley faces all over everything and little white ponies with rainbow manes. And no-nonsense, sarcastic friends of mine suddenly bouncing and squealing.

"That's _nuts_!" I exclaimed. "You can't be engaged! Okay, maybe _you've _imprinted, but what about _him_? He barely knows you! You're a stranger to him! You can't be in love with someone you don't even know! You can't _marry_ someone you don't know!"

"'_He_' is not in the habit of proposing marriage to people for no reason" Nahuel snapped. "'_He_' is also not a big fan of people talking about him as if he is not standing right here in the room! Not that you have any right to get involved, but I _do_ know Leah. I understand her as if I had known her for years. We are exactly right for one another, and we are getting married."

"Okay, break it up, you two!" Leah interrupted. "Jake, why are you being so weird about this? I thought you'd be _happy_ for me." She sounded a little hurt.

"I _am_ happy" I said unconvincingly. "Look, L, it's a shocker, okay? But if you're happy, I'm happy. That's all I want."

A huge smile lit Leah's face. "I can't quite believe it myself" she admitted. But I had a feeling she meant it in more of an "I-can't-believe-how-lucky-I-am" way than the "I-can't-believe-how-insane-this-is" way that _I_ meant it.

Leah turned to Nessie, smiling nervously and looking something other than super-happy for the first time. "I wanted to ask you if you'd be my bridesmaid" she said.

Nessie kept her face perfectly straight, but her chocolate-brown eyes twinkled and I recognized her teasing expression. "Would I have to wear a frilly pink dress?"

"Of course not!" Leah laughed. "Wear want you want."

Nessie tilted her head to one side, seeming to still be thinking. "Who else are you asking?"

"Just Nahuel's sisters and Emily" Leah answered.

"You're asking _Emily_?" I asked, shocked.

"Well, _obviously_, Jacob!" Leah said impatiently. "I mean, she's like a sister to me!" Which had, of course, been true, once. But even though Leah had always said that there were no hard feelings and no one was at fault, she'd never been quite so close to Emily after the whole Sam thing. But, apparently, everything was different now.

Any further discussion was interrupted by the Original Bouncer, Alice Cullen, bursting into the room. "Nessie, why has my entire tomorrow disappeared?" she asked.

"Because we're going _shopping_!" Nessie squealed, jumping into Alice's arms. "Leah asked me to be her bridesmaid!"

Alice looked confused, which was rare for her, considering that she usually knew things before anyone else on the planet. "Leah's getting married?"

"Yes." Leah answered.

"Wow...I mean, that's great. Who are you marrying?"

"Me" Nahuel answered, stepping forward.

Alice looked more confused than ever. "Wait. You two know each other? I'm confused..." You're telling _me_ she was confused!

Leah and Nahuel glanced at each other. Then they both turned back to Alice. "Long story" they said together.


	6. Chapter 6: Together Nahuel POV

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 6: Together **(Nahuel's Point of View)**

**Note:** This Chapter takes place three hours before Chapter 5

"I get it" Leah said bitterly, turning away. "You don't know me. You're probably wondering why this strange girl is laying a claim on you, and you wish I would go away. God knows, that's how everyone _else_ thinks of me. My own _mother _probably wishes I would go away. You'll probably _never_ feel what I feel, and it wouldn't be fair of me to push myself on you. I _get_ it."

"I did not say any of that" I protested, taking a deep breath. The past thirty-three hours had been completely surreal. Sure, I'd technically known about imprinting before. I'd heard about how Jacob Black had imprinted on Rena. But I hadn't had any clear idea of what it really meant. I certainly hadn't expected anyone to imprint on _me_. It had all happened so fast. I kind of felt like I was dreaming. But a good dream. Sort of.

"You don't have to say it." Leah said. "That's how anyone would feel about this. You don't know me. This all came onto you out of nowhere, in about one second. You've _got_ to be overwhelmed, to say the least."

True. But not the whole picture. "Leah, listen to me._ I am not unhappy about this_. I'm not promising anything, but you imprinting on me has been...probably the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. We fit together, Leah. Can't you see that?"

"Well, of course _I_ feel that way!" Leah said. "I'm the one that imprinted, here! But there's no way you would. I don't believe in love at first sight. You have to _know_ someone to feel true love."

"Do you even believe in true love at all?" I snapped, making her flinch back. "Why do you always look at the downside of things?"

"I do _not_!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

"Yes, you do. Not just about this, either. For example, I would bet you threw a huge fit when you found out Jacob was leaving."

Leah blinked. "Who told you about that?"

"That Jacob is leaving? Rena, of course."

"No, I mean about me throwing a fit."

"No one needed to tell me. It's just your personality."

Leah crossed her arms. "You don't know my personality." she said defiantly.

"Oh, yes? Well, tell me when I get it wrong. You are a fighter. You're fiercely determined, loyal, and you always stand up for what you believe in. You can be obnoxious at times, and your way of dealing with something you don't like is to go off and sulk about it or blame it on someone else. You try not to hurt other people, though, and you rarely lose your temper in a big way. Instead, you're just always sniping at people and being in a perpetual bad mood. You do try to work on yourself, though; you do know your limitations, and you've come a long way from where you used to be. I admire that. It must have taken a lot of strength. Your main problem, though, is that you have low self confidence. The reason you always blame things on other people is because you secretly believe that you're not good enough, and you always see the bad side of things because you think that you'll never be happy. You just want to be liked and loved, but you feel like you always end up being abandoned."

"How did this end up being a discussion of you pointing out all of my problems?" Leah asked finally. "That's not what we're discussing here!"

"Well, let's discuss it!" I said. "You have this whole blame-it-on-the-world attitude, and we need to talk about it!"

"Oh, yeah? I have a blame-it-on-the-world attitude? Well, you have a blame-it-on-yourself attitude! You need to learn that sometimes it isn't your fault! Like this whole thing about blaming yourself for your mother's death? That's ridiculous. What were you supposed to do, not be born? How did you have any control over that? And your father? He sounds like a total creep who deserved what he got."

Which I couldn't argue with, really, but I still owed him some loyalty. "He was my _father_."

That snapped Leah out of it for a second. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." she said, looking genuinely horrified with herself. "But in any case, the Volturi did that, not you. Sometimes you need to be strong, and say that it really is someone else's fault, not yours, and stop blaming yourself."

"You could take your own advice, couldn't you? Like I said, you're always worrying you're not good enough."

She was practically in tears. "Maybe I do! But how would _you_ feel? I've always been outside the group. I've never _really_ been wanted. Not with Sam, when he chose Emily, not with the Pack, where I was the girlie-wolf freak, not with _anyone_! Don't you understand that's why I'm so upset now? I'm scared that you'll leave me like everyone else and I _won't be able to live if you do_!" She sat down, statue-still, and shut her eyes.

"You always do that when you're upset, you know." I commented, trying to distract her. "Sitting still and shutting your eyes, I mean. Do you do it to try and shut out the world, or so that the tears won't spill out?"

"Both, of course." she answered without thinking. Then her eyes flew open suddenly and she stared at me.

"Nahuel." she said slowly.

"What?"

"How did you know that?"

"I noticed that you did it when we were talking earlier, too."

"But you knew _why_ I do it, too. Both reasons. And all that stuff you said earlier about my personality...I wasn't even thinking about it because I was so upset, but you were exactly right. It's like you saw inside my mind...or my _soul_. You knew stuff that even_ I_ wouldn't admit to myself."

"I understand you."

"Nahuel, _no one_ knows things like that about people that they met barely more than a day ago. It usually takes people _years_ to know each other that way."

"Maybe it's because of the imprint."

"That's why I understand _you_, but it doesn't work the other way."

"Speaking of the imprint" I commented. "Why were we just able to have a fight?"

She blinked. "What?"

"Well, Jacob and Rena have never had a fight. I guess I always assumed that was because of the imprint."

"That's kind of true. It's very hard to get angry at someone you've imprinted on, but there are cases where you would have a fight." she laughed. "Besides, I'm just naturally a more argumentative person than Jacob is." She paused. "But, you're getting me off the subject again. There has to be a logical explanation..."

"Leah, why do you need a logical explanation for everything? You are a werewolf. I am half a vampire. Is there _anything_ logical about us? However, I can give you an explanation...to a degree. Leah, you know that there are vampires with special abilities, correct?"

"Right." she nodded. "Like Edward can read minds, or Alice can see the future."

"Exactly so. Well, my gift, if you could call it one, is that I have always been able to...instinctively understand people, to a degree. Just by looking at someone, I am able to have some idea of their personality. But, never the way it is with you. I don't know why, but with you I am able to not only get a basic idea, but to see the details. I understand you so well, I feel as if I could step into _being_ you. We are connected in some way which goes beyond any logical explanation. Leah, you are worried that I will leave you? I will _never _leave you. And not only because I do not wish to hurt you - because _I_ would not be able to bear being separated from you. Your personality is the perfect complement to mine, Leah. I feel that, and I know it. We balance each other out, and if I was not with you, then I wouldn't feel whole anymore."

And suddenly, I knew what I was going to do. It hadn't been something I was planning on - and I certainly never would have dreamed these circumstances up. But suddenly I knew that this was utterly and completely _right_.

I took Leah's hand and looked into her eyes. She looked back at me curiously, waiting for me to say something. Right. I was supposed to get down on one knee, wasn't I? I was. It felt ridiculous. I didn't care. I was surprised I was able to feel ridiculous at all, because I was so full of other, larger feelings.

"Leah Clearwater, will you marry me?" I said.


	7. Chapter 7: Outgrowing My Age

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. The story Jacob tells Nessie is a real Quileute legend, the Thunderbird Myth. It can be found here: www.atmos./quillayute.html I did not make it up, nor do I own it.**

**Note: I will probably be doing a lot of switching around with Point of View in this story, and that can get confusing, so here's how it goes. If the Point of View is someone other than Renesmee's, I will write "Jacob's Point of View" or "Jasper's Point of View" etc. next to the chapter title. If it says nothing, that means it's Nessie's POV. This chapter is back to Nessie's POV.**

**Please review!**

Chapter 7: Outgrowing My Age

"I still don't see why you felt the need to drag me along, Alice" my mother complained as we made our way through the rows of dresses. "You _know_ how I feel about shopping."

"You, Bella, have no sense of style." Aunt Alice said calmly. "I'm getting tired of buying you beautiful clothes, only for you to ignore them. You are here in order to learn to appreciate fashion, so that you will learn to appreciate the clothes I buy for you, and actually _wear_ them."

"I _do_ have a sense of style, Alice. My sense of style is jeans and T-shirts, and that's not going to change."

"Well, it _should_ change" Aunt Alice said grumpily. "What you wear is so boring! You're always in jeans. And not even nice jeans. Just _jeans_ jeans."

"As opposed to what?" Mom laughed. "Hyper-intelligent robot jeans?"

Aunt Alice glared. "No. _Fashionable_ jeans."

My mother groaned. "Help me out, Rose?"

"Huh?" Aunt Rosalie turned from where she had been holding a dress up to her body and looking at herself in the mirror. "What do you guys think of this one?"

"It'll look gorgeous on you" Mom said impatiently. "_Anything_ does. Now, will you _please_ tell Alice that I am not her Barbie doll, and shouldn't be treated like one?"

"Alice, leave Bella alone" Aunt Rosalie said. "Let her wear what she likes."

"But you have the height to wear things that I can't wear!" Aunt Alice pouted.

"Alice, that is ridiculous. You have the kind of figure that can pull off anything, and you know it." my mother retorted.

Aunt Alice pulled out an ankle-length leather dress and shoved it at my mother. "Look at this. It would be gorgeous on you!"

"Alice, I am_ never_ wearing a leather dress. I am not Angelina Jolie. If you're going to try to foist clothes on me, could you at least try for something a little more _me_?"

"Oh, so you think Edward would prefer you in something like this?" Aunt Alice asked innocently, pulling out a sheer, lacy red dress so short it could have been a shirt.

"_Alice!_" Mom squeaked. She put her hands over her cheeks, an embarrassed gesture left over from when she used to have to cover her face to hide her blushes.

I bit back a laugh. Poor Mom. It was time for me to step in. "Uh, guys, do you think we could concentrate on trying to find something for _me_? We _are_ allegedly here to find a bridesmaid dress for me, remember?"

"Right." Aunt Alice nodded. "I was so busy concentrating on my Barbie that I forgot about my Kelly doll!"

Mom growled at her. Aunt Alice laughed impishly.

"Come on, Rose!" Aunt Alice called over her shoulder as we started to walk towards the children's section. "If you stand in front of that mirror much longer, you're going to turn into a narcissus!" Aunt Rosalie looked annoyed but caught up to us.

I surveyed the rows of dresses in the children's section and sighed. Why was everything here fluffy and frilly? Some with embroidered _strawberries_, no less. "Everything here is just so _babyish_."

"How about this one?" Aunt Alice asked, pulling out a dress. I made a face.

"No pink. It's babyish, it's a bridesmaid cliche, _and _it's notoriously bad with red hair."

"That isn't pink; it's dusty rose" Aunt Rosalie objected.

I rolled my eyes. "Same difference, Miss Crayola Box. Pink is pink."

As Aunt Alice put the "dusty rose" dress back, I caught sight of another dress hanging behind it. Black and white. Nothing black and white could be _so _babyish, right?

I pulled the dress out and examined it. It was ankle-length and high waisted, made of some floaty, fluttery material. It had a V-neck, but not a low-cut one, and was white on one half, black one the other. The black-and-white was much more sophisticated then the usual pink or peach, and the way it was half white, half black made me think of how Nahuel had compared the balance of being half human, half vampire to the equinox. Very appropriate.

"I like this one."

"I don't know" Mom examined the dress skeptically. "Isn't it a little..._mature_?"

"She's not a baby anymore" Aunt Rosalie defended. "Mature is good." I shot her a grateful glance.

"Rosalie, you are not turning my daughter into a baby slut, and that is _final_."

"But it isn't a slutty dress!" I protested.

"No, not on an adult" Mom allowed. "But on you, it would look like you're trying to outgrow your age."

Which was actually _exactly _what I was trying to do. "Come on, Mom. Please?"

She tilted her head from side to side, debating. "Okay, try it on."

"Yay!" I skipped off to the dressing room. Once inside, I slipped out of my jeans and T-shirt (for everyday wear, I'm as unfussy as Mom) and put on the dress. It fit perfectly.

I stepped outside and twirled. "What do you guys think?"

"It looks good on you" Aunt Rosalie said approvingly.

My mother looked devastated. "You look..._grown up_. I'm not ready for this. I'm not old enough to have a teenaged daughter!" Which was, of course, perfectly true. She was 23, and she only_ looked_ 18.

I walked over to the full-length mirror and surveyed my reflection. The dress _did_ look good on me. The black and white looked good with my auburn hair and light skin, and the empire waist made me look taller and curvier than I really was.

"This is the one."

"Are you sure?" Aunt Alice looked disappointed, probably because she didn't want to stop shopping. "Don't you want to try any others?"

"No. I'm positive. Can I get it?"

"Alright" Mom said reluctantly. I skipped over to her and gave her a hug.

"Thanks, Mom!" I went back into the dressing room and changed back into my regular clothes. Folding the dress carefully over my arm, I walked out again.

"_There_ you are" Aunt Rosalie grumbled as Grandmother came over to us. "Where have you been?"

Aunt Alice smiled at Grandmother. "Carlisle will love them."

Grandmother smiled back, looking excited. "Can I see what you got, Nessie? I mean, Renesmee?" Like most of the family, Grandmother called me Nessie most of the time, but tried not to when my mother was around.

I held up the dress. "Wow, that's beautiful!" Grandmother exclaimed. "It will look lovely on you."

"Do you think Jacob will like me in it?" I asked without thinking. Everybody stared at me.

"You're right, Bella." Aunt Rosalie said. "I'm not ready for this."

--

I smiled as Jacob came into my room. He sat down on my bed and I lay against him, leaning my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and I sighed, snuggling closer to him. The different members of my family always switched off telling me bedtime stories, and even though I had probably outgrown the tradition, I couldn't bear to give it up. Grandfather had been alive the longest and probably had the most technically interesting stories. Dad had a magical quality to his voice that made the stories seem to come alive, and he would sing to me as well as tell stories, both his favorite pieces of music and lullabies that he made up especially for me. In a way, Mom's stories interested me most of all, because she could tell me about being a human girl growing up in the modern world. But my favorite story night was still when Jacob came in and told me Quileute legends. His voice wasn't as musical as a vampire's, but it had a quality to it which made you want to listen, and the stories he told me were so interesting that I almost regretted falling asleep.

Tonight, though, I couldn't seem to relax. I could feel my heart beating at twice its normal rate, and my emotions swirled confusingly. It was as if there were two different people inside of me, reacting to the situation in two completely different ways. One was a little girl, happy to be put to sleep by the guy who was like a big brother to her. The other was a preteen girl who was just starting to realize the implications of lying on her bed in the arms of a _seriously_ cute boy.

"Are you okay, princess?" Jacob asked worriedly, pushing my hair off my face. I blushed, grateful that he couldn't read my mind.

"I'm fine, really. Just kind of tense."

"You wanna talk to me?"

"Not really." He looked kind of hurt at that - I almost never kept secrets from him - but there was no _way_ I was telling him.

"I could leave" he offered.

"NO!!" I yelled, more loudly than I meant to. He jumped at my vehement response. Neither part of me could stand the thought of him leaving. "I mean, please stay. You know how much I love when you tell me stories."

That made him smile. He started the story. "Long ago, there was a sad time in the land of the Quileute. For days and days, great storms blew..."

I sighed contentedly, relaxing into his arms. The feel of his strong, warm arms around me was soothing, and the rhythmic sound of his husky voice had a calming effect. The words of his story started to blend together, and I felt myself drift off to sleep...


	8. Chapter 8: My Little Girl Jacob POV

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. The story Jacob tells Nessie is a real Quileute legend, the Thunderbird Myth. It can be found here: www.atmos./quillayute.html I did not make it up, nor do I own it.**

**Please review!**

Chapter 8: My Little Girl **(Jacob's Point of View)**

"Even today, the Quileute never forget that visit from Thunderbird, never forget that it ended long days of hunger and death. And sometimes, on a stormy night, you can still hear the sounds of the Thunderbird and the Whale doing battle." I finished the story and looked down at Nessie, who had fallen asleep in my arms. So trusting. She was so sweet asleep. Her face was flushed, and she somehow looked younger, more childlike. I gently stroked her bronze curls and kissed her on the forehead. I knew that I should put her down and let her sleep, but I couldn't bear the thought of letting her go. This moment was so perfect, so precious. She wouldn't be my little girl much longer, and every second like this was a priceless treasure. No matter what size she was, Nessie always seemed to fit perfectly in my arms. I bent down and kissed her again, this time on the cheek. She smiled in her sleep, and, curious, I lifted her hand to my cheek.

_A grown-up Nessie stood on the steps of a big white building. Dartmouth, where her parents had finished college just this year. Her bronze curls blew around her face. She held a pile of books in her arms and stood surrounded by a group of friends, chatting. I saw myself walk over to her and take her books. "You don't need to take my books, Jacob." Nessie laughed. "I'm at least as strong as you are."_

_"Hey, it's the thought that counts" I replied, putting my arm around her shoulders. She leaned up and kissed me on the lips. As we pulled apart, the grown-up Nessie suddenly morphed into a seven-year-old girl._

_"I'm just a little girl, Jacob" she whispered.  
_

I gasped and dropped Nessie's hand, horrified. The perfection of the moment was shattered. You didn't have to be a freaking psychologist to figure out the meaning of her dream. Was that how she saw me? As some dirty-minded pedophile? As someone just waiting for her to be physically old enough to have a physical relationship with?

"She doesn't see you that way" a familiar, musical voice said softly. I turned to see Edward Cullen himself, leaning gracefully against the doorway.

"Can't you go away?" I snapped, mortified for both myself and Nessie. Talk about mentally intrusive!

Edward laughed quietly as he slipped into the room and sat down next to me. "I suppose that's fair, Jacob. Perhaps I _am_ 'mentally intrusive'. But it _does_ mean that I understand people, and I think you're misinterpreting Nessie's dream. You see, it isn't a reference to _your_ feelings at all. Nessie knows that you just see her as your little girl now. It's a reference to _her _feelings. Part of her is starting to think - and _feel_ - in a teenage way, but another part of her is still very much a little girl." He gazed tenderly at Nessie and gently brushed her cheek with long, pale fingers. "My little girl" he whispered. "My poor, sweet, little girl. Sometimes I wish you had a different father."

"What difference would that make?" I asked curiously.

"What difference would that make?" Edward repeated, bitterly. "_All _the difference. If she didn't have a vampire father, she would age at a normal rate. She could go to school and have normal friends and a normal life. No one would ever have tried to kill her. She wouldn't have to drink blood. I see inside her mind. I see how trapped she feels sometimes, how angry at having to stay inside she is, how frustrated and confused the way she ages makes her. If I wasn't her father, she would be so much happier! I always hurt the ones I love."

"Edward, that's not true. You're an amazing father. Nessie wouldn't be the same amazing person that she is if she had a different father, and I don't just mean genetically. She looks up to you more than you could ever realize, and having you as her role model had really shaped her ideals. You think you always hurt the people you love? Edward, you're not the monster that you think you are. You give a lot to the people that you love. I never thought I'd say this, but you're good for Bella, too. You help her see things more clearly in a lot of ways. I mean...yeah." I finished awkwardly, embarrassed.

Edward was surprised as rarely as Alice, but this was one of those times. He blinked. "Well. Thank you. I-I am very touched, Jacob." He sounded as shocked as I felt.

"Sure, sure" I mumbled. "I mean...don't start thinking I _like_ you or anything."

"I wouldn't dream of it" he said smoothly. We sat in companionable silence for a moment, watching Nessie.

"Edward?" I swear, you could see Edward's eyes literally light up as Bella walked into the room, clutching at the collar of her dressing gown. She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Are you coming to bed?" (Side note: Not to get graphic here, but might I point out that the two of them _don't sleep_? And so there's really only one thing she could have meant by that? And she still said it _right in front of me?_)

"In a minute, my love." Edward smiled up at her, and a spark flashed between them.

"All right." Bella sat on Edward's lap and briefly caressed his face before turning to me with a slightly embarrassed smile. "Hi, Jake."

"Hey, Bells. Heard you went shopping today." I teased.

She made a face. "Don't ask."

"That bad, huh?"

"Worse. Alice tried to make me buy a leather dress."  
"Ouch." I had to laugh at that. I could see the picture so clearly in my mind - Alice, the tiny powerhouse, trying to shove a leather dress at a mortified Bella.

"Esme got Carlisle a gorgeous pair of cufflinks, though. They're a surprise for his birthday."

"That's nice. And I already know that Nessie loves her dress. She was trying it on for me earlier and twirling around in it and stuff. She's so adorable. Did you get anything?"

Bella put a finger to her lips. "Not telling. I'm surprising Mr. Mind-Reader here. It'll be a growing experience for him."

"But I thought I was already perfect!" Edward teased her. Bella laughed and turned around to kiss him. It was funny to think that not so long ago, seeing them like this would have made me insane with jealousy. Now, I mostly thought they were cute...or disgusting, sometimes. I looked down at Nessie and smiled.

Bella followed my gaze and smiled. "Isn't she a miracle?"

"Indeed she is." Edward said softly. I nodded, and the three of us looked down in awe at our little girl.

"Renesmee loves you, you know, Jacob" Bella said suddenly.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"No, I mean..._really_ loves you."

I shrugged. "I guess she knows how much I love her."

"You do, don't you?" Bella said thoughtfully. "I mean...she's my little girl, Jacob. It scares me how fast she's growing up. It scares me that someday, not so far away, she could be...she could be yours."

"We really don't know how she'll feel when she grows up" I said quietly. "We'll deal with that when we get there."

"She _is_ almost grown up, Jake. Alice is already planning her 13th birthday party. She's starting high school next year."

"Look, I don't know what you want me to say, Bells."

Bella shook her head slowly. "I don't know, either. I just...I don't know."

"I hope you two are as happy as we are." Edward cut in, smiling his familiar crooked smile. Edward always treated it as certain that Nessie would end up with me when she got older. Which was kind of comforting, but also kind of made me nervous.

Bella smiled at Edward. "I'm not sure if that's possible" she murmured, wrapping her arms around him.

I could sense that the two of them wanted me to leave, so I gently put Nessie down. She stirred in her sleep and reached her arms out for me, which was heartrendingly adorable and just made me want to pick her up again and hold her all night. Of course, that wasn't a possibility.

"I guess I'd uh, better leave now."

Bella nodded. "Bye, Jake."

"Bye..._Mom_." She jumped at that, startled, and I grinned. "Just testing it out."  
She laughed but looked kind of scared. Edward, however, smiled calmly and scooped Bella off the bed. "I think we had better get out of here, too" he whispered to her, which made her giggle. They were out of the room in an instant.

I gave Nessie a final kiss before I left, too.


	9. Chapter 9: Past Connections Nahuel POV

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 9: Past Connections **(Nahuel's Point of View)**

"Leah, will _please_ you calm down?" I asked. "Breathe. Inhale. Exhale."

Leah obediently sucked in air, but the "breath and you'll calm down" concept must be a myth, because she looked more nervous than ever. "I-I'm kind of nervous."

_Kind_ of nervous? That is, I believe, what is called an "understatement."

"There is absolutely no reason to be nervous. My sisters don't bite." I paused, reconsidering that exact choice of words. "All right, they _do_ bite, but they won't bite _you_."

Leah laughed weakly. "Something is going to go wrong, I know it. What if they don't like me?"

"You having a nervous breakdown is the only thing that is probably going wrong, Leah. Honestly, I didn't make _nearly_ this much fuss about meeting your family."

"That's because_ my_ family is normal."

"Oh, of course. Your brother is only a seven-foot-tall werewolf! How 'normal'." I retorted.

She smiled wanly. "Six-foot-seven." she corrected. Then she took out her compact for, quite seriously, the tenth time that hour and started fussing with her hair. "Do I look okay?"

"You look fine."

"_Fine_? Everyone knows that 'fine' is code for 'bad'!"

"What is it with women thinking that men are always talking in 'codes'? Men say what we mean. It's women who are always saying one thing and meaning another. If I _say_ 'fine', I _mean_ 'fine'. You look beautiful, alright? Now will you _please _try to act normal?"

Leah put her head on her hand. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Now, _that_ would definitely ruin this meeting. Hold my hand, okay? Everything is going to be fine. Which is not code for 'bad'."

Leah proceeded to squeeze my hand so hard that I began to wonder if werewolves were strong enough to crush vampire bones. "Ow. Leah. Um, maybe you could squeeze slightly less hard? I'm not sure if you completely cutting off my circulation would hurt me or not, but let's not test that, alright?"

"Oh. Sorry." The pressure lessened considerably.

"That's better. Are you calm yet?"

"No."

"Well, try to be."

"I AM trying!"

Leah didn't have much longer to try, though, because at that moment my sisters showed up. My eyes automatically went to Aylen, which wasn't surprising, considering what she was wearing: Black patent leather hiking boots, purple knee socks, navy blue short shorts, a purple tank top, and a black leather motorcycle jacket. Her dark hair was in a loose, casual braid slung over one shoulder, and she was wearing black sunglasses which she pushed on top of her head when she caught sight of us. I grinned. The outfit was _very_ Aylen - sporty and punky at the same time, kind of weird, and completely cool.

"What are you staring at?" Aylen asked, knowing the answer.

"Nice outfit." I smirked.

Aylen stuck her tongue out at me. "Thanks, big bro. _One_ of us had to have some style."

It was true. Aylen was a lot more hip than either me or our other two sisters, Rayen and Sayen. Although it wasn't really fair, considering she'd been born more than a century after the rest of us. She was still only 21 years old.

Aylen was prevented from any further comments on our lack of style by Sayen bouncing forward to hug Leah, who looked rather startled. "Ohmygosh-you-must-be-Leah-it's-kind-of-weird-that-you-and-Nahuel-are-engaged-I-mean-you-just-met-and-I-really-don't-get-this-whole-imprinting-thing-but-I'm-sure-we'll-be-best-friends-you-seem-really-nice-I'm-Sayen-I'm-Nahuel's-sister-we're-going-to-be-sisters-how-exciting-ohmygosh-you-are-gorgeous-isn't-she-gorgeous-Rayen?"

Have I mentioned that Sayen is...I believe the word is "_talkative_"? She's actually really sweet and friendly, but her problem is that she says anything and everything that pops into her head without thinking about it.

"Excuse me?" said Rayen, who, like most of us, had learned to tune out 99 percent of what Sayen said, and had therefore only just realized that Sayen had just asked her a question.

"Ohmygosh-Rayen-you-never-listen-to-me-it's-so-annoying-I-hate-repeating-myself-it-makes-everything-sound-stupid-I-_said_-isn't-Leah-gorgeous?"

"Is she?" Rayen asked coolly, as if she doubted that the entire concept of beauty existed. I suppressed a groan. Rayen could be amazingly sunny and sweet sometimes. Why did she have to pick _today_ to go into one of her regal moods?

"Yes-she-is-Rayen-that-was-so-rude-do-you-ever-think-of-anyone-else-you-need-to-be-more-friendly-you're-like-an-Ice-Queen!"

Even though Rayen and Sayen are completely different in personality, they are best friends. Which I suppose is logical, because they were alone with my father for more than a century before Aylen came along. They also happen to have almost identical facial features - alike enough to be twins, which is astonishing considering that they had different mothers - but the effect is completely different. Sayen is shorter and curvier, has a rounder face, pink cheeks, and almost always has her mouth open, either because she's laughing or talking. She wears her hair in chin-length curls, and today was wearing jeans and a cap-sleeved pink T-shirt. Rayen is taller and leaner, with a longer face, stronger cheekbones, and a smile which is like a ray of sunshine. Her hair is long and straight, and today she was wearing a knee length corn-colored dress with long, belling-out sleeves and a gold necklace.

Of the three, Aylen is by far my favorite sister, although I love them all. It might be because Rayen and Sayen are so close to one another that there is no room for a third, but also it is because Aylen is simply a very cool person.

"Nahuel? Earth to Nahuel! What were you thinking?" Aylen asked.

"Nothing."

"Analyzing all of us?"

"How do you _do_ that?" I asked in admiration. Aylen always had an uncanny knack for knowing exactly what I was thinking.

"It takes talent; you wouldn't understand." Aylen said mockingly.

"Oh, thank you so much!" I replied dryly. Aylen snickered.

Sayen fanned herself. "Wow-I-am-so-thirsty-it's-insane-I-haven't-had-a-drink-in-day-I-am-just-_dying_-for-some-" She broke off as Rayen elbowed her sharply, nodding at Leah. "Some, um, Diet Coke." Sayen finished awkwardly.

"'Diet Coke' isn't what she was really going to say, is it?" Leah whispered to me.

Smart girl. "No." I admitted.

"Oh, help me." Leah shook her head, as if in disbelief. "I'm _marrying_ a _vampire_."

--

"That wasn't so bad" I said later, as we sat drinking - you guessed it - Diet Cokes.

"Not as bad as I'd thought" Leah admitted. "Sayen, uh, talks a _lot_, though."

"You get used to her." I laughed.

"And Rayen seemed kind of unfriendly."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that" I apologized. "She's really optimistic and sunny most of the time, but sometimes she gets into these icy, regal moods, like she's got a Queen Elizabeth complex. None of us have figured out why."

"It's okay." Leah sipped her Diet Coke and made a face. "I still don't see why you wouldn't set foot in Starbucks."

"No one who has ever tasted _real _coffee could drink Starbucks." I said scornfully. "You can barely get any decent coffee in this part of the world. Seattle's Best is only slightly better. In Brazil, we had _real_ coffee."

"That's right - you grew up in Brazil."

"Yes. I was born in Argentina, but Aunt Huilen and I left when I was six months old - that's about five years old, the way I age. So most of my childhood memories are from Brazil."

"What's it like there?"

"I lived in a small village called Pocos de Caldas. It's built on top of a volcano."

"An extinct volcano, I assume" Leah joked.

I laughed. "One would hope. It was beautiful there - the way I imagine the Garden of Eden. Everything was bright and green and alive. There were birds of paradise - that's a type of flower - and there were persimmon trees and coconut palms and raspberry bushes growing wild. There was a hill which I loved to climb, with a waterfall at the top. Sometimes Aunt Huilen would take me hiking. In the streets there was a cart pulled by a goat, named Menina. I used to love to bring Menina sugar to eat, even though her owner didn't like it."

"It sounds amazing."

"In a way, it was. But there were terrible things, too. The economy there is not so good. There were two very distinct classes - the very rich and the very poor. Those who were poor would be delighted to be live-in servants paid five _reais_ a month. When I went with Aunt Huilen to San Paolo once, you could see orphans begging in the street, wearing two rags."

Leah shuddered at the image. "That's tragic."

"It is." I agreed. "Also, I was very lonely there. I had no friends my age, and I felt much as Rena does now - trapped, purposeless. There were times when I regretted not going with my father, but I knew Joham was wrong. I wonder now how different my life would have been if I had grown up with Rayen and Sayen. As it was, I was very much cut off from humans, very much a - what's the word? - a loner."

"So there are no Brazilian ex-girlfriends I should know about?"

"Certainly not. Actually, until recently I thought I would never be in a romantic relationship. You see, I was very disgusted by my father's approach. The first time I met him, I asked him how he could be involved with and impregnate human women, knowing that they would be killed. He said that they were expendable, giving their lives up for a greater cause. That was how little my mother meant to him - and Rayen's and Sayen's. He talked about them as if they had no more value than guinea pigs in labs." I spat in digust. "Besides which, I was very afraid that if I was involved with a human woman, she too would die bearing my child. It wasn't until I met Bella Cullen that I began to have hope. Until then, I thought an - um - physical relationship was out of the question."

Leah choked on her Diet Coke. "So, you've never had sex?" she sputtered.

"You _have_?" I gasped. We stared at each other in shock for a moment.

"Sam?" I asked finally.

She nodded. "Yes. It's weird - I remember how happy I was, then. I was sure that we were going to be together forever." She paused. "I shouldn't be talking about this with you."

"I don't mind. I want to hear it." Not exactly true, but I wanted to hear it more than I wanted to _not _hear it, if you know what I mean.

"Well, like I said, I was very happy. I was really in love with him. But not much after that, he started avoiding me, acting different. Going missing for long periods of time with no explanation. I didn't know about the whole werewolf thing. I thought maybe I'd done something wrong, that he was angry at me for some reason. But then all of my girlfriends started giving me knowing smiles, and saying that all boys were like that. They got what they wanted, and then you never heard from them again. But I knew Sam wasn't like that. I refused to believe he would act that way. I knew there was something going on, though, something big that he wasn't telling me. It made me furious. My temper was a lot worse back then, if you can believe it, and we used to get into terrible fights. And just when I thought we were finally working things out, he falls madly in love with my best friend, Emily."

"I'll bet you didn't react to that too well."

"I didn't. It's funny - I was mad at Sam, but I was much, much more furious with Emily. I didn't know about imprinting, but I think I sensed, somehow, that Sam didn't have a choice. He was too far gone. But Emily had a choice. I still remember the night she told me how she felt about him. I didn't want to hear anything she had to say. We had these friendship bracelets we'd made in fifth grade - kind of stupid, but we'd never taken them off. Anyway, when she told me she was getting together with Sam, I ripped off my bracelet and threw it at her. I told her she was a traitor who didn't understand friendship, and I would never speak to her again. That I never even wanted to _see_ her again."

"But, you did."  
"Yes. The day Sam attacked her. That day changed everything. I saw her walking back from his house. I was going to ignore her, like always, until I saw that she was covering her face and crying. I almost kept walking, but I still loved her, so I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She ended up telling me everything - the werewolves, the imprinting, what had happened with Sam. She'd been told not to tell anyone, of course, but she was so upset that she had to let it out. And as she was talking to me, I saw just how clearly I;d nearly lost her. If Sam had clawed her just a few inches lower, on her neck, she would have been dead. And suddenly, I saw how stupid I'd been. She was like a sister to me, and she could have died with me still not speaking to her. In that moment, I completely forgave her. But I was angrier than ever with Sam. In fact, I flew into a rage. I went over to his house and told him that I could have forgiven him for hurting me, but I could never, ever forgive him for hurting Emily. It was that fury which triggered me turning into a werewolf."

"Did what happened to Emily seem like justice to you?"

"For just one horrible moment, I felt like she'd gotten what she deserved" Leah admitted. "But then, like I said, I was so overcome with guilt. Emily meant so much to me, and it was stupid to let _anything_, no matter how important it seemed, come between us. Death makes us face reality, and when I realized how close I'd come to losing Emily, I realized just how precious she was to me. Actually, it was me turning into a werewolf that seemed like the perfect revenge at the time. I felt a fierce satisfaction in knowing that Sam wasn't going to be able to get rid of me, that I'd always be a part of his life, always be there to remind him of what he'd done. That he'd always have to look into my face, hear my_ thoughts_, no less, and see what he'd done to me. I enjoyed the thought of making him miserable. Of course, I didn't realize how miserable I'd be making _myself_. I guess I grew up a lot, after that. Got everything in order. Realized that I needed to get past it, that I would still have a life."

"That must have a been terrible for you. I'm sure it took a lot of courage." I said softly.

"I don't know. It must have taken _you_ a lot of courage to sit here listening to me babble about my past." Leah joked.

"Not at all. It must have taken you a lot of courage to listen to me babble about mine."

We smiled at each other, and thoughts of the past were completely forgotten in contemplation of our future.


	10. Chapter 10: A Time for Love

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 10: A Time for Love

"Renesmee, you are not, _not_ wearing make-up." My mother said firmly.

"'Not, _not_' is a double negative. The two negatives cancel each other out, so that means I _am_ wearing make-up!"

Mom rolled her eyes. "Smart aleck. She gets this from you, Edward!" she called to my father.

"Proud of it!" my father called back. My mother turned back to me.

"Renesmee, this isn't up for discussion. _No_ means_ no_."

"Why not?" I sounded bratty, but I couldn't help it.

"Because I'm your mother, and I said so." Mom snapped.

"Okay, _fine_. You're acting like such a...like such a _mother_."

Mom laughed. "What a shock!"

The truth is, it sometimes comes as a shock to me that Mom is really my mother. It isn't just how young she looks - and _is_ - but also her parenting style. After all, Dad looks even younger, but I never could forget that he's my father. But he has a much more traditional parenting approach - and he's much more serious and disciplined. Mom just acts like my best friend, which is amazing - she actually remembers what it was like to be a kid, in a way that most adults don't. She's incredibly cool. But since she also looks just five years older than me, at this point, it really does come as a bit of a shock when she enforces her parental authority.

"How do I look otherwise?" I asked, getting up. I was pretty much ready to go. In addition to my equinox dress, I was wearing Jacob's promise bracelet and the gold locket my mother had given me, which said "_More than my own life_" inside in French. Both pieces of jewelry were reminders of how much I was loved, and I never took either one off.

"You look beautiful." Mom smiled warmly at me, evidently having gotten used to the dress. "What about me?"

"Mom, do you really not realize how gorgeous you are?" I put my hand on her cheek and showed her my very first memory of her, from when she'd still been human. She'd been covered in sweat and blood and was half-dead, but, to me, she'd been beautiful even then.

"That just shows how prejudiced you are."

I shook my head and concentrated on another memory, of her the way she looked now. I showed her the way that Dad looked at her, but also the way random guys were always turning to stare at her in the street. You didn't need to be prejudiced. She was objectively more stunning than most supermodels.

Today, though, she looked especially beautiful. Her dress was midnight-blue satin, and she was wearing diamond studs and a sapphire-and-diamond necklace that my father had given her for their last anniversary. Around her wrist was the charm bracelet she always wore, with the wooden wolf charm that Jacob had carved for her and the diamond heart charm from my father.

Mom put her arm around me and we looked at ourselves in the mirror. Except for the hair (and eyes) we looked like sisters. "This is creepy sometimes" Mom said.

I didn't need to ask what she meant. "Totally."

"Bella, everyone else is waiting here!" my father called. "Are you worrying about whether you look good or not? Because I'm sure you look stunning."

My mother put her hands on her hips. "Now, _that_ is unfair. You're up here, too. Why should he blame me?"

"Maybe because he knows us?" I suggested. "Now, come on, will you?"

Just as my father had said, everyone was waiting for us downstairs. Looking at them in a group, I was abruptly overcome by just how good-looking they all were. I mean, I always knew, but it was just striking the way every single one of them was stunningly gorgeous. Grandmother was wearing a dark red sheath dress that had a very old-Hollywood elegance to it, and I had probably never seen anyone look _less_ like a grandmother. Aunt Rosalie was very classically glamorous and sexy in a bright red satin dress that showed off all of her curves. Her blonde hair was in polished but sexy-looking waves, and her red lipstick was perfect. Aunt Alice looked edgy and pixie-eque at the same time in a spangly, spiky-looking purple dress and lots of black eyeliner. I won't describe what Grandfather, Dad, and my two uncles were wearing - because, let's face it, men's clothes are boring - but they all looked amazing as well. It was kind of freaky. Not to mention that having a uber-gorgeous family kind of puts the pressure on a girl. Not to mention Jacob...

Not to mention Jacob.

"Nessie, why are you staring at me?" Jacob asked.

I shook my head wordlessly, suddenly that I'd been staring up at him exactly like-

Exactly like a little girl with a _huge_ crush. Since when did I have a crush on Jacob? He was _my Jacob_.

"Uh...I don't think I've ever seen you dressed up before." I said. Which was perfectly true, but also a total lie. I could barely have told you what he was wearing. I was staring at _him_, not his clothes.

Jacob rolled his eyes, totally missing what was going on - another first. He usually understood me so well. "Yeah, Alice got me these clothes. You don't need to say it - I know I look ridiculous. If it had been up to me, I would have worn jeans. But you know Alice - there's no staying 'no' to her, the little monster." He grinned at Aunt Alice, who grinned back at him.

My father let out a slight hiss and clenched his fists, staring at me intensely. I glanced up guiltily, wishing that he couldn't read my mind.

"Shall we get going?" Dad asked in the tight, controlled voice that always meant that he was angry. He glared at Jacob, who looked back at him with a puzzled expression, no doubt wondering what on earth he'd done wrong.

Everyone was looking confusedly at my father as the family climbed into out various cars. My mother laid her hand on his arm and whispered a question to him, but he simply shook his head and wordlessly slid into the driver's seat of our Volvo. I noticed that his hands were gripping the steering wheel unusually tightly.

"Edward, what's going on?" my mother whispered again.

My father gave her what must have been intended as a reassuring smile, but it came out at more of a grimace. "Don't worry."

"Too late. I'm worried."

I was worried, too.

--

"Rena! You're here!" Nahuel bounded over and literally flung his arms around me. "I am so happy you came! I could not imagine getting married without you. You're so precious to me, like a sister."

I hugged him back slightly breathlessly. I was rather relieved. Although I hadn't wanted to admit it, some secret part of me had been afraid that now that Nahuel was getting married, we wouldn't be as close as we'd once been. I saw now how wrong I'd been. Just like my mother and Jacob, Nahuel and I would always be best friends. We were bonded together for eternity.

He broke away first. "Rena, you remember my sisters, yes?"

I blinked. Yes, I remembered his sisters. But I hadn't seen them in almost four years - since they'd come to our house right after their father was killed. The memory of how broken and terrified they'd been were still clearly imprinted (hee - imprinted!) in my mind. Rayen had tried to act normal, but she'd been weirdly stiff and polite, the way you picture a wax doll come to life would be. Sayen had been too broken even to talk. And Aylen had acted very classically young and scared - she'd been just 17 then - sitting in a corner and crying.

It was silly, but somehow I'd expected them to still be that way. So it was a bit of a shock to see them all not merely normal, but incredibly happy. I noticed that they were all wearing the same bridesmaid dress - Rayen in yellow, Sayen in blue, and Aylen in purple - except that Aylen had cut hers up and sewed it back together and embellished it so much that it was almost unrecognizable. And...how could _anyone_ think that motorcycle boots were appropriate wedding-wear? Was she serious?

Nahuel saw me staring at Aylen and laughed slightly. Apparently dressing oddly was usual for her. Interesting. Actually, even though I wouldn't have been caught dead (or undead, or whatever I am), in what she was wearing, she looked kind of cool, in a punky way. Then something occurred to me.

"Um, Nahuel, why are you in here?"

"Huh?" He jumped guiltily.

"This is the girl's dressing room. Shouldn't you be somewhere else?"

"It's the _outside_ part of the dressing room. No one is actually getting dressed in here." he objected.

"Yeah, I know, but, I repeat, shouldn't you be _somewhere else_?"

"Well, I, um..."

"Nahuel, are you still in here?" a voice interrupted. It still kind of annoyed me the way whenever Leah walked into the room, Nahuel completely lost interest in anything and anyone else. As she came out of the dressing room, he automatically turned to stare at her, a huge smile lighting up his face, and suddenly I understood why he was here.

Then again, it was understandable that he would stare. She did look beautiful. Her dress was a simple, one-shoulder white raw silk column dress, and her dark hair hung simply over her shoulders. Her makeup was simple, too, just black kohl eyeliner and blackberry-colored lip stain. Even her jewelry was understated, a silver cuff bracelet and matching earrings. No fluffy meringue dresses, fussy updos, or caked-on makeup for this bride. I loved that she was dressed to suit her personality, but the main reason she looked so beautiful was the radiant smile on her face.

"Nahuel, I told you to leave. You can't be in here now. Go away." Leah playfully put her hands on Nahuel's chest as if she was going to shove him out, but it sounded more as if she desperately wanted him to stay.

"Nope, not leaving. You're stuck with me." Nahuel put his arms around Leah, and she shrieked with delighted laughter.

"They're disgusting, aren't they?" Aylen whispered to me, and I couldn't help grinning. Yep, Aylen was _definitely_ cool.

"I think they're sweet." Leah's cousin, Emily, whispered back. Which wasn't surprising, considering how she and Sam were. They were almost as bad (or _good_, depending how you looked at it) as my parents. I wondered if Jacob and I would be like this someday. Then I realized with a shock that it was the first time I'd ever taken my future with Jacob as a given.

"Nessie! Nessie! Guess what?" Leah and Emily's other cousin, Claire, gave new meaning to the phrase "flower bomb" as she bounded into the room wearing a dress that was my pink, frilly nightmare. She did look cute, though - but, then again, she was seven years old. I automatically bent down to listen to her, the way you do with little kids, then realized that that might be a bit insulting to a girl who was actually three years _older_ than me.

Claire, however, didn't seem to notice anything off. Lucky, lucky Claire! She looked seven years old, acted seven years old, had the mind of a seven-year-old, was at the correct emotional and developmental stages for a seven-year-old, and had been alive seven years. All of this in direct opposition to _me_, the grown-up-kid-freak.

"Nessie, I'm going to be the flower girl!" Claire squealed, bouncing up and down.

"Uh...that's great." I stammered. I couldn't help staring at her as if she were some sort of alien creature. Had I...skipped that stage entirely? I must have. I couldn't remember _ever_ being like that - and there wasn't a single memory I couldn't call up in perfect, accurate detail.

We were interrupted by Leah's mother, Grandma Sue, knocking on the door. "Everyone, hurry up! We have a wedding today!" She opened up the door, stuck her head in, and frowned as she caught sight of Nahuel and frowned. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Um, nothing." Nahuel said guiltily, quickly letting go of Leah, who fell against the wall, gasping with laughter. (Don't ask _me_ what was so funny. Clearly, she'd gone semi-insane.)

Grandma Sue looked slightly nonplussed. "Well, I guess you can be doing whatever you like, as long as you keep making my daughter laugh like that."

--

"I _need_ a video of this wedding" I said to Jacob later, as we watched couples twirl around the dance floor.

I smiled as I watched my parents. Looking at them, it was hard to believe that my mother had once not only hated dancing but been hopeless at it. The two of them made Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers look clumsy. My father dipped Mom down to the floor, and they laughed. Nearby, Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were doing a series of steps so fast and complicated that they looked like they were floating.

Jacob laughed. "Yeah, so you can watch the ceremony three times in a row? Don't think I didn't see you crying."

I shrugged, blushing. "It was really emotional. They looked so happy."

"They _look_ so happy." Jacob said pointedly, gesturing at the dance floor. It was true. They did. They kept sneaking in kisses when they thought no one was looking, which was pretty funny. Next to them, Jake's friend Quil was twirling Claire around, bending almost in half to reach her, while Nahuel's sister, Aylen, was making up her own funky dance moves.

Suddenly, Jake gave a shriek of disbelieving laughter. "Oh, no freaking way!"

"What?"

"Check it out." He discreetly gestured toward where Embry and Leah's brother, Seth, were flirting with Nahuel's sister, Rayen and Sayen. As we watched, Embry and Rayen walked out onto the dance floor and started dancing together. Embry was actually quite good, which surprised me.

"Since when can Embry dance?" I asked.

Jake shrugged. "It's news to me."

I watched Seth walk towards Leah and Nahuel. Even though he whispered quietly enough that even a vampire couldn't overhear, with my vision I could easily read his lips: "_Think you can tear yourself away from my sister long enough for me to dance with her?_" Nahuel laughed but looked regretful as he let go of Leah. His sister Sayen walked over to him and the two of them started dancing.

I laughed. "This is the best wedding ever."

Jacob nodded and put his arm around my shoulders, smiling down at me, as I leaned against him and smiled up at him. He was always putting his arm around me, cuddling me, holding me, but somehow, this time it felt significant. It felt..._couple-y_.

"Hey, Jacob?" I asked.

He looked down. "Yes, princess?"

"Do _you_ dance?"

He laughed shortly. "No."

My heart pounding, I pulled away and faced him. I looked straight into his eyes, a challenge. "Dance with me, Jacob."

"_'Dance with me, Jacob'_, she says" Jacob mimicked. "_Someone_ has been watching _Dirty Dancing_ too many times, I think. Are you scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of your whole life the way you feel when you're with me?"

"Yes." I shot back as I took his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. He had to bend down almost as low as Quil in order to reach me. His face just inches from mine, he bent forward and spun me around. And, okay, he had lied. He totally _could_ dance. I mean, he wasn't about to dance ballet in _Swan Lake_, but he had a muscular grace that was all his own. I laughed and twirled, feeling my long hair fly out around me, loving the moment. I spun into Jacob's arms and he caught me, his arms locking tightly around me. A new song came on, "Breathless" by The Corrs.

"_Go on, go on_

_Leave me breathless_

_Come on_

_Hey yeah_"

Whispering so softly that even those with superhearing couldn't overhear, Jacob quietly started singing along with the lyrics to me.

"_The daylight's fading slowly_

_But time with you is standing still _

_I'm waiting for you only_

_The slightest touch and I feel weak_"

"Hey, you know the lyrics to this?" I asked in surprise.

Jacob smirked. "Surprised?"

"Well, I know you're more of a Metallica kind of guy." I teased.

"There are many hidden sides to me you don't know."

I raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yep."

Smiling into each other's faces, we sang the words together as we twirled around.

"_I cannot lie_

_From you I cannot hide_

_And I'm losing the will to try it_

_Can't hide it, can't fight it_"

Holding my hands, Jacob spun around so quickly the he lifted my off the floor. Anchored to earth only by his strong hands, I laughed like a delighted child until he finally put me down. Laughing, we half sang, half shouted the words of the chorus at each other.

"_So go on, go on_

_Come on and leave me breathless_

_Tempt me, tease me_

_Until I can't deny this loving feeling_

_Make me long for your kiss_"

Suddenly, Jacob dropped my hands abruptly. The smile falling off of his face as if it had been erased, he ran off the dance floor and out the door. I ran after him.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nessie, you _must_ know the way I think about you...the way I've been starting to feel about you, recently."

I smiled and took his large hand in my small ones. "Has it occurred to you that I might be starting to feel the same way about you?"

"No!" Jacob yanked his hands out of mine. "Nessie, you're four years old!"

"Do I _look_ like a four year old?" I asked simply.

"Okay, fine, so that makes you, what, twelve? Almost thirteen? I'm twenty-two, Nessie! Do you think I'm a child molester?"

"My mind is more advanced than most adults' - including _yours_, probably!" I shot at him.

"I'm not saying that it isn't. I'm just saying that life experience matters, too."

"What do you mean?"

He laughed slightly. "It's funny, because when I used to argue about this with your mom, I was arguing the opposite side...but I know better now. If you've been alive four years then, no matter how intelligent you are, no matter how old you look or feel, in some way you are four years old. Emotionally, you're way behind your mental and even physical growth."

"Didn't you once tell me that you'd give me anything I wanted?" I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. "Well, I've never wanted anything more than I want _you_."

He was breathing hard, but his eyes were firm. "I won't give you something that's bad for you."

"So you're saying that _you_ are bad for me?"

"At this point, yes. You're a child, Nessie."

"I don't know _what _I am!" I screamed. "But I know one thing, Jacob. I know that I love you!"

"You don't know what romantic love is."

I stepped back with a gasp. "Yes, I do!"

"You're a little girl with a crush, Nessie. You don't feel a _fraction_ of what I feel." His voice was flat.

Like a snakebite, his comment pierced me and then slowly ran through my veins, poisoning me. Jacob and I stared at each other in silence. Then I put my hand over my mouth. "Take that back!" I sobbed.

His expression was horrified. "I'm sorry, Nessie. I didn't mean-"

"I don't _care_ what you meant!" I yelled. "That is the most hurtful thing you could _ever_ have said to me, Jacob Black!"

The most hurtful because I was horribly afraid that it might be true.

Half blinded by tears, I was only vaguely aware of my parents coming up behind us. Why couldn't they leave me alone? I wanted to be _alone_!

_STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD, DAD!_ I thought. He jumped back with a hiss, recoiling.

"Don't you talk to your father like that, Renesmee Carlie Cullen!" he snapped.

"Talk to you like _what_?" Mom looked confused. "Edward, she didn't say anything!"

My father ignored her (a first) and turned to Jacob. "And you used to accuse me of hurting Bella?" he spat. "Do you have any idea what you've done to my daughter?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, what would you have preferred me to do?" Jacob snapped. "Give in to her weirdly accelerated hormones and have sex with her on the spot?"

Without warning, my father sped forward, lightning-fast, and punched Jacob. Jake landed several yards away, and for a moment he simply stared in shock at my father as his smashed and bleeding face reconstructed.

"I've been wanting to do that for about five years now!" My father said, sounding almost happy.

Looking furious, Jacob got to his feet and walked over to my father. I could feel how badly he wanted to hurt him, to fight back, but he simply stood there, fists clenched, and stared into my father's eyes until, to my shock, Dad flinched and looked away.

"This is a very complicated situation, Edward." Jacob said quietly. "As far as I know, there has never been anything like it before. Either way, people are going to get hurt. You know I would rather die than hurt Nessie, but I am just trying to deal with a very difficult situation with some amount of morality and decency."

"I know that." Dad said softly. "I'm sorry, Jacob."

Just like a little girl, I walked over to my mother and hugged her, still crying. "Can we go home now?" I asked.


	11. Chapter 11: Me, Myself, and I

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Please review!**

Chapter 11: Me, Myself, and I

**Renesmee's Point of View:**

"Nessie! Nessie, _please_, will you let me in?" Jacob pounded frantically on the door. "Nessie, come on! We need to talk!"

Determined to ignore him, I popped another Hershey's Kiss into my mouth, stubbornly picked up my book (_Turnabout_ by Margaret Peterson Haddix - I'd already finished all of the _Shadow Children_ books. Yeah, she's one of my favorite authors) and continued reading.

"_They were acting more like kids now. Melly knew that. She thought about Ms. Simmons's pursed lips and knew how she'd view Melly and Anny Beth's behavior. But what was she going to say - 'Act your age'? Which age?"_

_Act your age? Which age? _There was my dilemma, summed up neatly in five words. With a frustrated snarl, I threw the book across the room. Outside my door, I heard Jacob catch his breath.

"Nessie? Are you alright?"

He was worried about me. My stupid, unshakably loyal Jacob was worried about me, even though I was treating him so horribly. I hated myself. I hated him. I hated my entire life.

I could still hear Jacob desperately knocking on my door, begging me to let him in. In a futile attempt to block him out, I flung my pillow over my head and buried my face into my mattress. It didn't do a thing. I could still hear him, and more than anything I just wanted to get up, open my door, and fling my arms around him. My anger against him had worn away almost immediately. Now I didn't want to see anyone because I was so ashamed of _myself. _Some childlike part of me felt dirty and wrong for feeling about Jacob the way I did. But more than that, I was aware that I had acted immature in every way. How could I go outside and look Jacob in the eye?

I wasn't used to rejection. From the first minute he'd seen me, Jacob had always been there for me. He was the last person I'd ever have expected to turn me away. And even though I could see his side - sort of - it still hurt.

The stupid pillow wasn't doing a thing. I sat up and reached for my iPod. With trembling fingers, I put in my earphones and turned the volume up as high as it would go, completely blocking everything else out.

"_I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare  
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair_"

Sometimes the only way to deal with misery is to wallow in it. I slowly scrolled through my Playlist until I found the song I was looking for.

"_Go on, go on_

_Leave me breathless_..."

Sometimes it feels good to cry.

**Jacob's Point of View:**

"Nessie! Nessie, come on! Please!" I pounded against Nessie's door, fighting a strong urge to break it down. Of course, I was strong enough to break the lock with one finger, but I needed to respect Nessie's privacy. Even if it _was_ torture being apart from my Nessie.

I groaned as I heard Bella come up behind me. "Esme made this for you."

"That's very nice. Tell Esme I say thank you." I didn't even bother to turn around.

Bella put down the food and sighed. "Jacob, it's been three days."

"Three days, four hours, six minutes, and fifty-five seconds." Of utter torture.

"During which you haven't eaten, haven't slept, haven't done anything except stand in front of Nessie's door, knocking and begging to be let in. Who do you think you are? David Blaine? You're going to kill yourself, Jake!"

"I stopped knocking at night so she could sleep."

"Yes, but you didn't sleep _yourself_. You just sat there obsessing."

"How am I supposed to eat or sleep at a time like this?" I demanded.

"Jacob, you are acting insane. You're making yourself sick."

"Oh, and of course, _you_ were _sooo_ normal without Edward." I retorted.

"_That_ was a completely different situation" Bella huffed. "_I_ thought I would never see Edward again. Nessie is only temporarily angry at you."  
"You don't know that."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You really think she'll stay angry at you forever? She's probably regretting it now."

I didn't dare let myself hope that that was true. I couldn't even figure out if it was likely. Being without Nessie was like being in excruciating pain - I wasn't able to think clearly.

"Come on, Jake, it's no use" Bella sighed. "I've tried, Edward's tried, Rosalie's tried. She's just not going to let anyone in until she's ready."

"I have to keep trying." It was the only clear thought I was able to think._ I have to keep trying_.

"Come on, Jacob. Give it up. You made me sane once. Let me make you sane now." Bella said softly, laying her hand on my arm. Her gold eyes seemed to blaze into mine, and I shook my head, dazed. For one moment I was fifteen years old again, completely under her spell. Bella was always complaining about Edward's ability to dazzle people; she completely underestimated her own. There was a time when I would have done anything and everything she'd asked.

But times change. I turned back to Nessie's door.

"Okay, let me try" Bella sighed. She rapped lightly on Nessie's door. "Renesmee? It's Mom. Please let me in?"

**Renesmee's Point of View**

_I laughed as I wrapped my arms around Jacob, pulling him into my room._ _His arms locked around me, and I reached up to kiss him. "I want you." I whispered. He smiled at me as we lay down on my bed. As I turned, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. A small child stared back at me with shocked little-girl eyes. I opened my mouth and screamed..._

My eyes flew open as I lurched into a sitting position, gasping for breath. _Just a dream. _I was shocked I'd been able to doze off over the racket of Jacob pounding on my door. Suddenly it occurred to me that he wasn't knocking anymore. Instead, I could hear muffled voices through my door.

"..._Been three days...going to kill yourself_"

That was my mother.

"..._A time like this?"_

And that was Jacob.

"..._Acting insane...making yourself sick...only temporarily angry at you_"

"..._Don't know that_"

"..._Stay angry at you forever?...probably regretting it now...no use_"

I flipped over on my bed, straining to hear.

"_I have to keep trying!_"

I flinched. That had come through loud and strong. He was desperate. And hurt. I'd done that to him. What was wrong with me?

Suddenly there was a light tapping on the door, and my mother's voice, clear and pure. "Renesmee? It's Mom. Please let me in?"

I kicked my blankets moodily, considering. After all, I couldn't stay in my room forever. "Okay, fine. Just you." I got up and unlocked the door, then went back to my bed and sat down.

I folded my arms defensively as she walked into the room. I could feel her keen eye sweep over me. Her face melted with sympathy as she walked over to my bed and wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, Nessie."

I clung to her, breathing in her familiar scent. So many things I wanted to say...but how could I say them to my _mother_? After three days of disuse, my voice seemed to have disappeared.

"How do you live without chocolate?" I asked irrelevantly, gesturing at my bag of Hershey Kisses.

"With great difficulty." She looked hesitantly at me, as if unsure what to say. Well, that made two of us. "Nessie...Jacob told me what happened."

I pulled out of her embrace and lay down with my back to her, burying my face against the wall. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I understand that, Renesmee, but we need to talk." It was that mother tone again. So unfamiliar. Demanding to be obeyed. But not talking - I couldn't bear that now.

I put my hand on her cheek, calling up memory after memory. All through my life. Jacob in every single memory, never gone for more than an hour or two. Then I concentrated on the last three days. His absence stood out like a gaping, empty black hole.

She sighed. "You miss him."

_Miss_ him? I was _starving_ for him. I nodded miserably. "You agree with him, don't you?" I asked.

She hesitated. "Well, yes. I do."

Then, I said something which surprised me almost as much as it surprised her: "So do I."

She blinked. "What?"

"It's like..." What was it like? As Jacob had said, there probably had never been a situation like this before. It wasn't noticeably like anything else I'd ever heard of. Then it occurred to me.

"Remember when Dad gave me _Flowers for Algernon_?"

She frowned. "Yes. I can't believe Edward thought that was appropriate reading material for a-"

"A child?" I finished sardonically.

She cringed. "Well, yes."

Remembering the fights they'd had about it made _me_ cringe. I can say from personal experience that the whole "happy couples never fight" thing is a myth. My parents are the happiest couple I know, and they _do _fight. Just not very often, or very badly.

(For those of you who don't know, _Flowers for Algernon _is a book about a retarded man named Charlie who gets an operation which makes his IQ shoot up rapidly. It's kind of creepy and depressing, and definitely_ not_ appropriate for a child, but then, I'm not a normal child. Never have been. Which would explain why it's one of my favorite books, right up there with _Interview with a Vampire_, _Turnabout, _and the _Shadow Children_ series.)

"Well, there's this whole plotline in it, where Charlie wants to have a relationship with Alice Kinnian, but every time they start getting intimate, he sees his child self, watching him. And he realizes that even though his intelligence has increased so quickly, he's emotionally still a child...I'm like that. My mind is adult, my body is teenage, but somehow, some part of me is...still a child. It's like there's this little four-year-old girl inside of me, and she just _won't leave me alone_! _Why won't you LEAVE ME ALONE_?" I screamed. I sounded like a mental experiment myself, but I didn't care.

"Oh, Nessie" Mom sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't say that!" I yelled, jumping off of the bed. "Don't say you're sorry, as if you had any idea what I'm going through! _No one_ has any idea what I'm going through!"

I could see the hurt in her eyes, but I was past sympathy, past caring. "Oh, I'm sorry" I snarled sarcastically. "Does this upset your little plans for a vampire fairy tale? Is this a glitch in your Happily-Ever-After? I'm a toddler, aren't I entitled to throw a tantrum now and then? Maybe I'm overtired! Or, hey, here's another theory, maybe it's the hormones cuz I'm going through puberty! Maybe it's teenage rebellion! Hell, call it midlife crisis if you like! With me, who can tell? Tell me this, did you _think_ about what my life would be like when you chose to keep me? Dad was right - you should have gotten rid of the _thing_!"

I laughed darkly at her shocked expression. "Oh, you didn't think I knew about that, did you? You'd be surprised at how much I know!"

"I wanted you" she said in a small voice. "I wanted you, always."

"Well, you were wrong" I said coldly. "It would have been a kindness to never let me be born. I never would have had to go through this, split three ways, not one thing or the other! 'How old are you' is always the first thing adults ask a kid when they meet them, isn't it? How many kids really wouldn't know how to answer? It's not supposed to be a hard question, is it? _Is it_?" I was crying hysterically by this point. I sat down on the bed, drained. "Oh, Momma!" I sobbed. "Momma, I'm so sorry! So sorry..." My shoulders heaved as I sobbed torrentially into her shoulder.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I want...I want..." I struggled to think. "I want my Jacob."

Suddenly, the longing was too much to bear. The pain of being away from him was almost physical. Jumping off of my bed, I opened the door and flew into his arms.

"Nessie...oh, Nessie" he whispered, pressing me against him. With a shock, I realized that he was crying. "Don't _ever_ do that to me again."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, weaving my fingers through his hair. "I won't. I don't think _I'd_ be able to stand it." I was wiping away tears of my own. "I...I don't think I can live without you, Jacob Black."

"I _know_ I can't live without you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen." He put his hand on the back of my head and tenderly smoothed my hair. For a long time we stayed just like that, with him holding me, neither one of us wanting to let the other go. Finally he put me down.

"I heard what you told Bella." he said.

I nodded. "I'm sorry. It's like...there's this scared little four-year-old girl inside of me. And I can't say how long...I don't know when I'll be ready."

He stroked my cheek, not saying anything.

"I know how hard it'll be for you." I said softly.

"Harder for you." His dark eyes were brimming with concern.

I shrugged, not denying it. "So...where do we go from here?"

He gave me a small smile. "I'm anything you want me to be. Your best friend, your brother, your father-"

I made a face. "I already have one of those, thanks. But there is one thing I'd like you to be."

"What's that?"

I smiled. "My Jacob."

"That's one thing I'll always be." he promised.

I swallowed. "And someday..."

He took my hand and held it over his heart. "Someday" he repeated.

But I knew that he wasn't just repeating what I'd said. That word, 'someday', was more than just a word.

It was a promise.


End file.
